Fanfictional Fugitive
by LethalCupcake
Summary: When I fell through my wardrobe, I anticipated to be either dead or in Narnia. When I ended up in the Bleachverse, I anticipated to become a brave and beloved member of Team Good Guys. When the dream of every Bleachfan became a nightmare, I just wanted to survive. T for increasing amounts of physical and psychological violence.
1. Prologue: Doorbells Suck

**Summary:**

**When you open your wardrobe, you will find either clothes, a corpse or Narnia. You do NOT, repeat NOT, find a messed-up passage to a world that is best described as 'the Bleachverse'.  
At least, I didn't expect to find it- and when I found it, I hadn't even realized yet what deep shit I just had gotten into. **

* * *

Although I just said that everything started with a wardrobe, it actually started with a ringing doorbell. Which, rest assured, I too wish hadn't been the rather cliche start of my story, but a beginning's a beginning. Had it been me pulling the strings, it probably would have started way differently.  
Preferably, it wouldn't have started at all.

Past-tense first-person meta-lamenting aside, I really think I should get back to that goddamned doorbell. More importantly, perhaps, the reason behind the obnoxious _HIEEEIINNG_ echoing through my house.

This might be a nice opportunity to introduce Suzume. Suzume is not her real name, naturally, but it sounds pretty cool and our names differ comically because of it. She is one of my best friends. I'm pretty jealous of her sometimes, because she is one of those insufferable people that are alright. Sure, she's not without her flaws and spikes, but there's this thing about that makes you think 'Yeah, she's a nice person'.  
Also, she's a BAMF with karate/kickbox-skills, and ready to learn anything if she puts her mind to it. 'If' being the operative word here, but you didn't get that from me, hush.

While I'm at it, why not introduce myself? That's going to have to happen sooner or later, since I declared myself the main protagonist of this clusterfuck of events and misfortunes. I'll stick to the facts; who am I, after all, to describe my own personality.

My name is Myrthe. I'm 16 years old. I look average, my hobbies are average, and any skill I possess is average as well. I like average things. Videogames, tv-series, books, being pretentious with a camera, those things that many peers like. My childhood was average, my present is average.  
I wasn't the stuff of legends. I resigned to that fact pretty early on, it made a lot of things easier. I was content with pretending to be something greater in my head and conclude afterwards it wasn't going to happen. I made do.  
I did not and do not consider myself a particularly nice person.

So, that's us, Suzume and me, two teens just doing the teenage thing and stumble through days with laughing fits and senseless fury. We were pretty different, something that has only become more prominent over time. Didn't mean we couldn't flip our shits over the same topics, though. In accordance to this story, let me just keep it at the shared love for anime, with its eccentrics and melodrama and anatomically whacky tits. Bleach was one of these guilty pleasures, and we liked to meet up every once in a while and submerge in Japanese shouting and somewhat phallic weapons being constantly pointed at bishonen whilst one-liners with dubious subtext were rapidly fired.

It was one of those afternoons, and the doorbell I discussed thoroughly a few paragraphs ago announced its beginning. A little skippadoodle in time later, we were high on that lethal combination of a sugar overdose and animated mindfuck.  
So we decided to get check my wardrobe for any signs of Narnia. Because we were awesome like that. Door open, idiots in, door closed.

Step.  
"Holy shit, your wardrobe is huge."  
Step.  
"I've never been this deep into a closet."  
"I think your closet is big enough to host all the self-deceiving gays in the world."  
Ste-

And that is where my life started to suck, although I hadn't realized it yet.  
I was far too busy with falling through what was supposed to be the back of my wardrobe. There was black, there was white, and there was a space made up entirely from all possible colours, as if we were falling through a prism or inside a rainbow; and briefly all I could think about was _damn, there's a rainbow inside my closet, I should review my sexuality again_.

Although I realized later on that it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life, at that very moment of falling through something, I was terrified. I completely forgot about Suzume and could only think of my certain death and how much I disliked this turn of events.  
I was screaming and praying that this was just a bad dream or that I had somehow sniffed up crack; and we just kept falling and falling and falling and just when I thought I was doomed to fall for all eternity, we landed.  
Since I was still under the impression I was going to grow old as nothing but gravity's toy, I was too surprised to properly land when my feet touched the ground, and I stumbled and fell on the pavement.

_There's supposed to be no pavement in my wardrobe._

And after I concluded the obvious, I scrambled up to my feet and took a good look around. It was sunny, the birds were chirping happily, a guy yelled at me for sitting in the middle of the road, and I was somewhere that I had never been before.

* * *

Looking back, I guess that it must have been around that moment of wonder and traffic blocking that the man on the throne was informed of our 'arrival'. It's not hard to imagine that monster putting down his cup of tea, smiling that one smile. That smile that has been haunting me ever since I witnessed it first-person.  
I can see vividly before me how he probably would give the order to start the first test while casually asking for Ulquiorra to pour him some more tea. And I can feel my fingers tingle as they beg me to let them throw boiling hot maginary tea in his imaginary face. Or the cup. Or some sharp, porcelain shards from the cup. Preferably big shards of a Ming vase coated in poison and crawling with flesh-eating millipedes _and _the boiling tea.

* * *

**Myrthe: Thus begins the tale of how I became the butt-monkey of my real-life alter ego.**

* * *

**~*~*~*~*~*OPINION WHORE SECTION~*~*~*~*~***

**Welcome to the Opinion Whore Section, where I ask for your opinion so that I can say mine is better!**

**Oh wow. My story sucks. Badly. This is like the literary black hole within every little aspiring writer's soul that sucks up all confidence in storytelling and leaves nothing but the kind of emptiness that emo bands devote songs to.  
I'll be revising this story. Reanimate the dying loose ends and put plot holes and gruesome sentences out of their misery.**


	2. Super Ultra Mega Hyper Fangirl Squee

**Chapter 1: In which we get into an awkward situation before we can even find out what the hell happened.****  
****Location: Right in front of the Kurosaki Clinic, Karakura Town, Japan, Bleach, the All.****  
****Copyright: Tite Kubo & Friends.**

* * *

Last time on 'It Sucks to be Me': Myrthe and her friend Suzume are being their idiotic yet awesome selves and run into a wardrobe that promptly turns out to be a rainbow vortex instead of Narnia.

* * *

So there I sat, in the middle of the road, trying to process what just had happened. From the sounds of it, Suzume had already stood up and looked around her, ignoring whatever vehicles nearly hit her as a result.  
"Hey! Junkie! Get off the road, idiot!" Apparantly, Suzume still ignored them, because the shouting continued. "Do you want to die, or something?"  
"She's fine, just a bit... dazed" Suzume suddenly shouted back, followed by quick footsteps and someone tugging at my arm.  
_Oh. They were talking to me. _Still abit overwhelmed, I let Suzume drag me from the paved road to the sidewalk.  
"Seriously, Myrt, do you have a death wish or something?" she complained under her breath as we reached the front yard of a vagualy familiar building.

"Kurosaki Clinic" I read out loud.  
"Ok, not a death wish, just fucking stoned-"  
"No, seriously, Suus, look." I pointed at the little sign next to the little gate in front of us.  
Her eyes widened.  
Then they narrowed.

"What kind of joke is this?" she said loudly, looking for signs that our lovable group of friends were screwing around with us. The only response were a few passing school girls giving us a weird look.

I started laughing. I laughed rather loud, because I'm prone to laughing in a stressful situation like stepping into your wardrobe and ending up in a weird yet familiar town with your friend who thinks it's a joke. Suzume, although still a bit suspicious, started laughing too and pointed at the clinic, remaerking that someone did a fairly good job at copying the real thing. That was fake. I laughed even harder, from stress, but also because I slowly saw how comical things actually were. We had gone through my wardrobe and we actually ended up somewhere else. Suzume looked at me a little worried- maybe I was laughing a bit too hysterically.

"We're in Narnia, Suus! Anime-Narnia!" I made a wide gesture around us. Slowly, a grin spread across her face.  
"We're in Bleach! That's Ichigo's house!" she laughed while pointing at the building in front of us.  
"We're in Bleach-Narnia!"  
"We're in Blarnia!"  
At that point we just started laughing uncontrollably; in the middle of the sidewalk, right in front of a weird house that resembled a fictional house; inside a world that resembled a fictional town. We had no idea what was happening, what had happened a few moments ago and what was going to happen; but it felt good to laugh right now. Even if it the laughter sounded a bit too forced and fake.

"Not implying anything or trying to spoil your fun, but are you two ok?"  
_'Oh. My. God.'_ My inner fangirl started to squeak.  
I would recognize that voice from anywhere. Apparantly, I had just embarrassed myself in front of the main character of the Bleach series, Kurosaki Ichigo, the never-smiling-always-winning-sometimes-killing hero, and one of my favourite characters from the show.

I slowly turned around and there he stood, looking like the full-fledged bishounen he was in the late evening  
_'I wanna run over to him and pull his orange hair to look if it's real and I wanna scream his name but that's way too scary kyaaaaaaa' _my inner fangirl squeeeee'd.  
_'I want to sink in a very, very deep hole' _the rest of my now embarassed brain groaned.

"ICHIGO!" Suzume has always been the most spontaneous of us two. She pointed at him and started to wave at him in a most enthusiastic way. He frowned his classical frown.  
"How do you know my name?"  
"Well" _-god my voice sounds stupid-_"you're the main character, so-" I stopped talking, my ears starting to glow. How do you explain you know his name because you have seen hundreds of episodes with him in it? Because he is a fictional character from a popular show you adore?

"I'm Suzume, and this is Myrthe" Suus had already recovered, apparently deciding that stating our names would magically solve everything.  
"You're Kurosaki Ichigo." She pointed at him again. "You're a Substitute Shinigami, and-" I quickly elbowed her while smiling my poker-smile at Ichigo. Too late. He frowned Classical Frown Level 02.  
"How do you know that?" I normally wouldn't have noticed the change in his posture, but since I was kind of staring at his bishounen beauty, I saw how he subtly tensed a few muscles and took on a more defensive stance. "Are you two Shinigami?" he asked, his voice giving away that he thought that to be highly implausible.  
"No!" I let out panicky.  
"Yes!" Suzume cheered simultaneously.

"I was not informed that there were any Shinigami coming here anytime soon" an even more suspicious, female voice sounded behind us. Suzume had already whirled around. "Who was that?" she shouted agressively.  
"Down here" a suspicious AND angry voice responded, and I turned around as well to see Rukia giving Suzume a scorching look. The target didn't seem to care.

"Ichigo" Rukia tried to push us aside to reach her subject, avoiding Suzume's not-very-subtle attempt to pull her leg. Suzume and I exchanged a quick look as the two in front of us held a little conversation under their breath, with Rukia occasionally giving Suzume angry glares and Ichigo looking at me with an unflattering amount of doubt. After what seemed an eternity, they finally turned towards us.  
"What is it, pipsqueak?" Suzume asked, her angry stare still focused on the extremely small figure in front of us.  
"We were just wondering, what squad are you in?"  
_Four-letter word describing excrement, often exclaimed in anger, frustration or panic._

"Ehm… Do you… mind if my friend and I are going to… discuss... something? Privately?" I tried to smile as bright as I could while dragging Suzume with me around the corner.  
"What are we going to do now?" Suzume whispered. Oddly enough, she somehow seemed more excited than panicked- as opposed to my sentiments.  
"Why did you say yes when he asked if we were Shinigami?" I hissed panicked.  
"It's a better excuse than: 'actually we are two human fangirls that love an anime of which you are coincidentally the main protagonist and we accidently ended up here after running into a wardrobe', right?" She had a point.  
"But how the hell are we going to convince them? Do I look and act like I can wield a sword without hurting myself?" I had a point.  
"So if I get this right we have two options: One, we tell them the truth and they'll probably think we're crazy. Two, we say we're Shinigami and once they find out we lied we still have to tell them option one" Suzume concluded.

"Let's go for option two."  
"Totally." We walked back. Although it had seemed impossible before, they were eyeing us with even more suspicion than before.

"So, what squad are you from?"  
"Six-"  
"Four-"  
_Oops. Should've rehearsed that. _Their suspicion had reached its peak; Ichigo suddenly took his Substitute Super Special Transformation Token out of his pocket and changed into kick-ass mode and Rukia took her Soul Candy and changed into little miss bad-ass form. I quickly put up my hands in a surrenderish gesture.  
"Pleasedon'thurtmeI'msorrywe'reactually-"

**"ROAAAAAR!"**

_Wow. Never knew Suzume had it in her- wait.  
__Crap  
__Crap  
__Crap  
__Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap fffuuuu-_

**"HOLLOW!"**

Against my instincts, I looked over my shoulder.

It was huge. It was grisly. Its red eyes seemed to draw mine into it, holding my gaze locked on its gruesome appearance that towered over me. It kept staring at me, the red glow in the eye sockets seemingly paralyzing my body while my head scream _RUN-_

It let out another howl of rage, rendering me temporarily deaf. The bloodchilling sound broke the spell its eyes had cast on me; finally, my instincts took over and I took one uncertain step backwards, and another, and another, my eyes still fixed on his-

**"WATCH OUT!"**

I screamed as it suddenly jumped forward, my instincts and clumsy body screwing up as I tumbled backwards and fell down, lying defenselessly and helplessly on the ground, that monster towering over me and blocking my sight from the others. I heard Suzume scream something very angry and Rukia screaming back something even angrier, but at the moment, I didn't really care about anything but my own life that was dangerously close to being ended, as the thing bent down closer to me. I kept screaming, high nonsensical cries for help mixed with high-pitched sobs as I kept repeating that I didn't want to die yet, Ichigo shouting something and me saying _I don't wanna die _while curling up in fetal position-  
The Hollow opening its huge mouth spraeding a smell of death and rotten pork-  
_I don't wanna die-  
_Another hair-raising howl-  
_Don't wanna die-  
_I closed my eyes and curled up even further in fetal position-  
_Don't die-  
_The monstrous cries suddenly stopping, my own sobs and wails suddenly painfully clear-  
_Don't-_

"It's already dead, you know." I didn't react at first, the calm, annoyed voice seeming so unreal after all the noise before.  
"Myrt, it's dead. Like, cut-into-a-million-pieces-dead. It's okay."  
_It's okay. _Still trembling, I relunctantly opened my eyes, the brilliant light of the setting sun painful to my eyes at first. I was just about to get up from my fetal position when a blurry black spot from afar suddenly came my way at unnatural speed.  
_Please, no-_ I screamed again and went back to my previous pose.  
The blurry black thing that was towering over me right now seemed to do nothing at first. Then it sighed,  
"Am I really that scary?" a familiar voiced asked with a micture of amusement and annoyance.  
I carefully opened one eye, saw the black shape above me and I cringed again, but when nothing happened, I opened both my eyes.

"There" the shinigami with sunset-coloured hair said with the same voice "not so scary after all, huh?"

_Please make me disappear right now, _I thought as I felt how blood rushed with massive amounts to my cheeks. Kurosaki grinned.

"You look pretty bad."

Somehow, that hit the wrong button.

"PRETTY BAD" I shrieked, my voice still trembling and unstable and angry "Of course I look PRETTY BAD when I just got attacked by a freaking MONSTER for the first time in my miserable 16-year-old LIFE!"

And then I started to cry again. Because I was still so scared, because I was ashamed, because I was happy to be alive, and because I can be a huge crybaby. I heard some footsteps and then there was Suzume, saying that it was dead now, that it was ok, and she kept repeating it. Overwhelmed by relief and stress hormones, I impulsively hugged her. She seemed surprised at first, but hugged me back at last. I and just sat there hugging and crying until after an undetermined amount of time, I felt calm. I took a deep, shivery breath.

"I think I liked it better when they were still on my computer screen" I muttered softly. She laughed, not because I said something particularly funny, but because I have a habit of joking about crappy events and the fact I made a fairly poor but obvious joke meant that I hadn't lost my mind and shaky. And I finally released her from my mental breakdown-hug.

"If you're done, follow me." Ichigo didn't say anything more and walked back, saying something unintelligible to Rukia who nodded. She gave me a terrifying glare and turned around and following him. It was a good thing she did that, because if she had seen the gesture Suzume made behind her back- I preferred to skip that thought. "Where are you going?" Suzume finally asked angrily.

"**WE** are going to Urahara's" Ichigo answered. He stopped for a second and looked over his shoulder. "Then you can tell us what you really are."

_Gulp._

* * *

"If you two are Shinigami, then I am the Supreme Commander."

We were at Urahara's and enjoying some tea. Although the situation was pretty painful, I was very excited about having tea the traditional Japanese way, since I'm a total spoiled tourist. What I also was excited about was that a good deal of the Bleach cast was having tea too. At the same table. With me.

Chad, Inoue, Ishida, Rukia, Ururu, Jinta, the Creep-With-Glasses, Urahara with his fan… Ichigo with crossed arms, Suzume fiddling with her cup, me still a bit shaky. Familiar black cat on a cushion.  
It was awesome to see them. It was awkward to actually be with them. I opened my mouth and closed it; I looked at Suzume, but she studied her teacup with an amazing amount of concentration.

"Then we must be the Halloween comittee" a cold, arrogant, young and familiar voice suddenly added as dryly as possible.  
With a huge ***GASP*** Suzume and I turned around to see an odd group of people in the door opening. One woman with orange hair and a bosom that seemed made for the sole purpose of mocking Newton. One bald guy with a head that seemed to have a bishie sparkle glued to it. One whose appearance made it really hard to determine his/her gender. And two others-

"RENJI!"  
"TOUSHIRO!"

I clamped my hand before my mouth before my inner fangirl could screw up any further, my cheeks suddenly feeling very warm. For a second, there was a dead silence of doom.  
Then Suzume stood up within and pointed at Lieutenant Pineapple, her finger aimed at his head. For a second, I thought she was going to scream "OBJECTION", but she decided otherwise.

**"YOU'RE AWESOME!"**

And with that she launched herself at him, and before I could blink she was hugging him, tugging his hair, examining his eyebrows, stealing his white bandana-thingy, hugging him again and reapeating this odd but understandable behaviour. While screaming unintelligible, high-pitched and overexcited things that were meant in a very positive way.  
Her target seemed too stupified to do anything; his so-called friends quickly moved away from the scene and proceeded to laugh at his face.

Me, well, I'm not a spontaneous person like Suus, and I also was sane enough to hold myself back from glomping Squad 10 Captain Hitsugaya Toushiro, prodigy of the Gotei 13, wielder of the strongest ice-based Zanpaktou. And a personality to match said weapon.

The unwilling subject of my staring had stepped forward and frowned. Well, he always frowned, but now his frown got deeper- think Matsumoto-what-are-these-sake-bottles-doing-in-my-office-frowning. And it was directed at me. I felt uncomfortably intimidated by someone who was about two heads shorter than me.

"You must be the two suspicious figures that Urahara told us about." He glanced over to Suzume, who had now moved on to Ikkaku and commanded him to do his lucky-lucky dance. "I don't think 'suspicious' is the right description, though." He glanced back to me; apparently waiting for a response. I opened my mouth, closed it, opened it again-  
"I AM NOT BALD. I AM SHAVED!"  
_Saved by the yell._

"We should calm down and have some tea now, everyone" Urahara said hushingly, softly but steadily taking Suzume by the shoulders and forcing her to sit down next to me. Her cheeks were bright red - excitement? love? embarrassment?- and she longingly stared at Renji, who sat down as far as possible from us. The newcomers settled down as well; Ikkaku fought with Renji over their places; Matsumoto sat down between Inoue and Ichigo (the latter shifting a bit uncomfortably), and Ikkaku not-so-heterosexual-life partner quickly claimed the free space next to Ishida (who shifted even more uncomfortably.  
Sighing very heavily, the child captain took the last remaining seat next to me, making a whole show of how relunctant he was being. At least, it seemed like that to me.  
If I hadn't felt so extremely awkward, I would've been extremely excited to sit next to one of my favourite characters.  
The rather heavy silence didn't really help, either. The sounds of people sipping tea were the only things to be heard for what seemed like an hour.  
_I have never felt this uncomfortable in my entire life.  
_"So, here we are" Suzume suddenly said, putting down her cup as if it was a statement on its own.  
"So here you are, indeed" Urahara said, suddenly looking a bit more serious than before.

"Who are you?" Ichigo bluntly broke the silence as well. It was a sign for everyone to put down their teacups and to get on with it.  
"I'm Suzume and this is Myrthe" Suzume replied calmly, not the least bit intimidated. She raised a provoking eyebrow, as if she was disappointed with his question.  
He suddenly smashed the table rather agressively. I shrieked out of surprise, earning me another scorching look from my small-sized neighbour.  
"Don't joke around with us!"Ichigo said angrily. "Who _are _you?"

"Like we said before" Suzume responded annoyed "we are Shinigami." The way she said it so casually and naturally amazed me.

"And like Captain Hitsugaya said, then we are the Halloween committee." Renji said it so dryly I somehow managed to keep my laughter in control as I remembered countless fillers where the whole cast would dress up and have pointless adventures. My white-haired neighbour however seemed to notice my inner turmoil.

Ichigo folded his arms and turned towards me. Though not as intimidating as Hitsugaya's his stern gaze made it hard to look him in the eyes.  
"Earlier you said that Hollow was the first one you've ever seen. That's impossible for a Shinigami. Then you said you were 16 years old- even more impossible. And last but not least," he grinned "Soul Society sure has some weirdoes there, but they'd never accept a wimp like you in the Gotei 13." _Ouch._

"So" Ishida took over, pushing up his character-defining glassed "you either tell us the truth, or we'll just arrest you as spies."

"SPIES?" Suzume exclaimed surprised.  
"ARREST US?" I exclaimed scared. This wasn't how it was supposed to work out; they were supposed to be all friendly, thoughtful and most of all, helpful!

"We're not spies!" Suzume said angrily.  
"Please don't arrest us!" I squeakily added panicked.  
"Then what, just WHAT are you people?" Hitsugaya snapped suddenly, smacking the table with his school kid-sized hand. I jumped up startled- or at least, I was supposed to jump up, but ended up knocking my knees against the table. I could see several shinigami roll their eyes, and wished I was a beautiful butterfly.

Suzume and I exchanged a long look. "Should we?" I asked, more out of habit than because we actually had a choice. My overcompetent companion nodded. "Option two it is." She turned towards the rest.  
"Just don't start laughing, ok?"  
"Or arresting us" I added nervously.

And we told them everything.

It remained kind of silent afterwards. They all stared at us like we were lunatics.  
_Well, I would've done the same if someone told me I'm a fictional character in a fictional anime while she is from the real world and knows all of what's going to happen to you, your past, your personality._

After another eternal silence, Hats'n Sandals cleared his throat.  
"Interesting theory."

* * *

**F!Myrthe: I demand moar dialogue!**

**Me: Say the magical wooords~**

**F!Myrthe: Screw you.**

* * *

**~*~*~*~**~*~OPINION WHORE SECTION~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Welcome to the Opinion Whore Section, where your opinion only counts if it's approved by me!**

**Chapter one is finally done! This chapter was first divided into two chapters, but a while ago, I read my own story again and was baffled by its eyeball-gougingly crappy quality. I wouldn't even have read that crap! So I rewrote the chapter, but it's still far from good- but I thought I'd do the most eriible stuff right first and then refine it.  
So now you have gotten to know F!Myrthe and Suzume a little more. What is your opinion on them?**


	3. Title Plus Tantrum

**Chapter 2: In which we get promoted**

**Location: Around the tea table, Urahara Shop, Karakura Town, Japan, Bleach.**

**Copyright: Tite Kub- Ah, why do I even bother. Blab la bla not my stuff blabla all hail to the rightful owner bla bla please don't sue my underwear off etc. etc.**

* * *

Last time on 'Totally not Spies': Our heroines meet the main character of Bleach, get nearly nommed by a Hollow Ex Nowheria, and proceed to meet and have awkward silences with pretty much half of the entire cast. Also, they are forced to tell the 'truth' when Ishida accuses them of espionage.

* * *

"Interesting theory" Urahara said finally, after when seemed another neverending silence.

"So… You believe us?" I asked, more than a little hopefully.  
"Not yet. It makes the spy-theory even more plausible, in fact."  
"But we can't even prove we're not!" I squeaked. "The more we tell you, the more suspicious we'll be! It's not fair!" The last words escaped my mouth before I could ralize that I sounded like a toddler wanting candy.

Ishida pushed up his glasses again. "You do have a point there. However, if your... amusing story is true, you should also know things about us that are impossible to be learned about through espionage."  
"But how do I know-" I was interrupted by a pinch from Suzume. She winked and leaned over to Renji, whispering something in his ear.

His head turned the same colour as his hair.

"H-How… That's impossible!" he stammered, . Suzume giggled, and I could swear she winked once more.  
"And? Convinced now?" she said confidently, folding her arms in triumph. He only nodded.

I thought it was my turn now, so I did a good research through my mind. What did I know about them that others couldn't possibly know?

_Loading… Please wait a few moments…  
_They were all staring at me waiting for either a confession or a miracle.  
_Scientific research has proved that a brain can recover information faster when under stressful circumstances…  
_"So what about you?" Ichigo asked impatiently.  
_Fuck science…_

_Idea._

"Ehm… Toush- Captain Hitsugaya?" I beckoned.  
His eyes narrowed even further. "What?"

I said a little prayer to the plot bunnies and said the word I had set my hopes on.

"Kusaka."

His eyes went quite wide. _Bull's eye.  
_"I know who he is." I added superfluously. He only nodded.  
"He's your-" His hand went suddenly up, the international gesture for 'that's enough', so I shut up. _I've never been the extremely tactful type anyway._

"So, anyone else?" Suzume demanded, sounding a little overconfident. The silence that followed grew a bit uncomfortable again; and it was really getting on my nerves. I decided to be bold for once. _  
_

"So, have guys fought the Arrancar yet or are they yet to come?" I asked curiously.  
Dead silence.  
"Which ones? Ulquiorra and Yammy , Something-Something-Grantz… Luppi…?" I added, just to make sure.  
Only shocked faces.  
"Has Grimmjow showed up yet?" Suzume said eagerly, her eyes sparkling with renewed excitement.  
Ichigo nearly dropped his cup. It was the only motion in the room.

"Ha! You should see your FACES!" A new voice guffawed from behind us.  
"Yoruichi-san, how nice of you to join us as well" Urahara said, his voice so friendly that it bordered on sarcastic. The tall woman -_when did she get dress?- _smirked and gave us an approving nod.  
"You seem to know a lot more than we anticipated."  
"Ha! You better get used to the fact we already know what's going to happen!" Suzume said grinning much more confidently, with her arms still folded in a most dignified and almost arrogant way.

"Aah! You mean you two are prophets!" Inoue chirped. There really is no other way describing that sound of hers.  
"I don't think so, Inoue" Urahara suddenly looked alarmingly serious. He turned towards us. By now he looked so serious Suzume and I started to feel a little uneasy.  
"Hey, Kisuke" our new member said teasingly, "you're scaring them with your wise-old-grandpa-attitude!"  
Although his left eyebrow seemed to twitch for a second, he maintained his gloom-and-doomlike sourface.  
"You two must listen very carefully to this, ok?"

_I have a bad feeling about this._

I'll skip you the exact explanation, because I don't remember it clearly. Also it was complicated and had to do with the laws of the universe, time-paradoxes and other scientific stuff. And I suck at science. But I'll try to explain it in the future-telling-for-dummies-way (that was his second way of explaining it to me, after he had noticed that only Suzume had understood anything):

We, that is Suzume and yours truly, know what will happen. They, that is everyone in the world, don't. Assuming that we are now a part of their world, we can change things here. Do you get it so far? Then you're faster than I was.

Next: If we tell them things they can't know yet, we can, or even will 'change' things. Because people will always try to change their fate once they know about it. So if we tell them for example about a future battle in which they will die, there's a big chance that battle will end completely different or won't take place at all, because they will try to avoid it. And these changes are very prone to cause catastrophies, because everything that happens (his voice became over-the-top solemn here) must happen according to how this world is supposed to 'go round'.  
Therefore, Suzume and I are absolutely _forbidden _to 'spoil' about the 'plot'.

Though I was still trying to wrap my head around this (and I wasn't the only one having trouble), Urahara cleared his throat once more, the grave expression still on his face.

_I have this feeling that this somehow is going to get even more complicated._

"Nothing in this world is coincidental" he continued. "Especially something extraordinary like your arrival here, and the fact you two just happened to meet Kurosaki-san and Kuchiki-san, who conveniently turn out to be one of the few people in this entire town that you know. From that I, cautiously deduce that you two came here with a purpose." _I secretly knew I had a purpose in life!_

"That purpose might be unknown, but I have a theory: Your most outstanding attribute here is your large knowledge. Knowledge of what is happening in this world, and what is going to happen in the future. From that, I can safely assume that that is the reason you appeared here. From that I can deduce again it is connected with your purpose."  
"AND?" Suzume generally doesn't really enjoy cumbersome stories. "And what IS that purpose, gramps?" Stripe-Hat cleared his throat, dignified if not a little insulted.

"Your purpose is… to guard the plot."

_LAME. _Judging by Suus' expression, she thought the same. Urahara didn't notice.

"You two have to make sure everything here happens according to how it should happen, when it should happen, etcetera etcetera."  
"Shouldn't that work out automatically? I mean, Rukia is right here, so I figure the whole rescue arc- I mean, thing went spotless without us. Right?" I said, trying to hide my own uncertainity. But our sandal-wearing-oracle shook his head.  
"And that's my last point: The reason you two ended up here, is because something must've been disturbed." He looked up. "And it's your task to fix it!" he concluded happily.

_From all the things to become once I'm older, 'hero' was the first thing I scratched off the list. And look what is happening to me. _

"What… if we refuse?" I felt my appearance shrink when everyone suddenly looked at me. But I somehow continued. "What if we- what if I ignore whatever my task is and go home?"  
My voice trembled. I avoided the stares everyone was giving me and stared intensely at my teacup. Urahara sounded a bit weird when he finally answered.  
"I don't know."  
I clutched the poor teacup even tighter.

"And what is your theory then?" I heard a light chuckle coming from his direction.  
"That unless you fulfil your task, there is no going home."  
With an optimistic jingle, the teacup fell in pieces on the floor.

_No going home. _

"No going home" I hissed out loud. "_NO_ going _HOME_." Since I no longer had a teacup to torture, I clutched the folds of my T-Shirt.

"Now now, there's no need to destroy my china-"  
"**WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR FUCKING CHINA!**"

I clapped my hand before my mouth, scared by my own outburst. Suzume stared at me with big eyes; I usually didn't lose my temper like this. Then again, I usually didn't get into situations like this._  
_

I tried to compose myself again with a deep breath; however, I knew that I would be crying in less than a minute. A stingy feeling already came up in my nose, a clear sign of my body that I could think of cute puppies for all I wanted, but that the waterfall was now inevitable.  
_I can't start crying now. _  
_I can't start crying here._

"Will you just" a whiny tone had already crept in my voice, another indicator of the coming flood "give me a minute?" I stood up, trying to avoid all possible eye contact, and walked with trembling knees to the next room, and the next one, and the next one, where I finally leaned forward with my head against a random wall.

_There's no way that this is happening.  
__There's just no, fucking, way.  
__I'm going insane.  
__I'm just dreaming._

"I'm just dreaming." I said it out loud, but it didn't come out half as convincing as I wanted to. Instead, a sob escaped through the words.

_I'm just dreaming. I'm going to wake up somehow. I will be woken up by the insufferable alarm on my Nokia. I will get out of bed, curse my school, take my meds and begin my day.  
__And most of all, I will remember nothing of this. Maybe I will remember it was about Bleach and that Suzume was in it._

_Or maybe I am in a coma._

I liked that idea. It meant that I would have one hell of a story when I would wake up. It meant that I would skip a lot of school. It meant that people would be standing around my bed right now, saying how tragic this was, that it was such a loss for the world; that I had been such a wonderful person and that they felt so sorry for not telling me how much they loved me before.

It meant that people would really miss me.

And yet, somewhere in my mind, the lonely corner where all unwanted thoughts are hidden, I knew that I was just being scared. I knew that the wall felt too rough under the skin on my forehead. I knew that the scratch on my knee, from when I tripped while on the run for that Hollow, stung too much too be imaginable.

So I just turned until I leaned with my back to the wall, and started crying, slowly sinking down until I sat on the ground with my back to the wall and my head in my hands.  
I was so busy with crying while trying not to cry, that I hadn't noticed Suzume entering the room too until she suddenly sat next to me. I could tell she had no idea what to say, and in fact, I rather liked that. Because if she had said anything I'd have to concentrate on the feelings of someone that was not me. And to be honest, I didn't really feel like doing that right now.

So we just sat there, and I'd love to tell you whether Suzume was crying too or just there to comfort me, but as you all expected, I was too busy with my own miserable persona.  
But at least I pitied myself with some dignity for the first time, in a relatively silent way. That is probably the reason why I could hear what they were saying three rooms from where I sat.

"I'm not entirely sure that the blonde one is suitable for this." _From all people, lil' Toush just had to say it.  
_"Tch. Not suitable? That girl has a soul made of pudding!" I heard Ikkaku say. "She has no spiritpower at all!"  
"But she could see the Hollow!" Ichigo protested.  
"I think that can be considered a phenomena related to the fact they're not from this world." Hat 'n Sandals joined in. "Another example would be that they are European and yet seem to speak and understand Japanese fluently." _Wait… But they are talking in English!_

"It doesn't matter whether her level spiritpower is high or low." Toushiro again, sounding unnaturally mature as ever. "What matters is her attitude… Or rather the lack of that."  
"It is indeed a major concern." Stripe-Hat again. "But I'm afraid they are the only ones we can depend on."  
"If that is true, there is a good reason for anxiety. I am not sure about that Suzume girl, but it is a fact that if we have to depend on the little one, we're royally screwed" Yoruichi said, and I could hear some murmur of agreement.

I felt Suzume's concerned look burning into my hands that were covering my face. And I knew she had the best intentions when she put her hand on my shoulder and said they were just a bunch of idiots, but something inside me just _snapped_.

I pushed off her hand rather meanly, stood up so suddenly Suzume let out a small cry of surprise, ran through two doors and halted in third doorway, pointing at nobody in particular, my whole body shaking again and my breath shallow from emotion.

"You people wanna know something?" I screeched slightly hysterically through my sobbing,"**I **never asked for this!" I could see the O-Crap-She-Heard-Us-look spread through the room.  
"I didn't sign up for getting thrown into some other world; being nearly eaten by a monster and getting suspected of espionage! And while I'm at it: I don't want to be your petty Plot Babysitter anyway! Screw you!"  
Stunned silence. I took a breath, not bothering to wipe the tears off my face. "You people have no idea what's going to happen. For your information, I do! And before that shit hits the fan, I'm outta here!"

Nobody said a word. I was shaking over my entire body from stress and anger.  
"You can't make me do this!" I shrieked finally. And with that I turned around and ran through those doors again, ran through some more, shot through the shop and fled into the sunlight. I could hear Suzume scream something after me, but I only increased my speed.

_Leave me alone. Just leave me alone now._

"Myrthe!"  
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled as I crossed the street and randomly turned right. I wasn't thinking clearly and I was being a huge bitch, but at the moment I _didn't really care, _so I just kept running like hell, turning left and right at random intervals. I don't know how long I had been runningwhen I finally reach a beautiful green park, where I sat down on a bench completely exhausted, breathing so heavily I sounded like a badly tuned flute.

I then realized I had absolutely no idea where I was and that I had inherited a gift to get completely lost wherever I would go.  
I then also realized there was not a single human in the park.  
And then I realized that there might be no humans in there, but something else was.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, missy, but you wouldn't happen to be a Plot Guardian, would you?"

_O shit. O shit. OH SHIT._

* * *

**F!Myrthe: And that is the first cliff-hanger in a series of constantly reappering story cut-offs that have no real purpose than to anger the readers.**

**Me: Did I mention I'm not a very nice person?**


	4. CU In Hell

**Chapter 5: In which Suzume reads a letter.**

**Location: In an envelope addressed to Suzume, on the table, Urahara's Shop, Karakura Town, Japan, Bleach.**

**Copyright: Mostly mine, with a faint flavour of Tite Kubo to spice it up.**

_DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU'RE SUZUME. __CONTAINS SPOILERS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION._

_Hi, Suus!_

_How's life? I know, stupid question because you're worried sick about me at the moment. __I can't help it; I suck at writing a normal letter. You have no idea how many failed versions of this letter have ended up in a dark corner of the world, doomed to be a pellet forever._

_Anyway, here I go again. To tell you the truth, I'm a bit scared to come to the point, that's why I keep circling around it. Which is pretty mean, considering how anxious you've been this entire day. __Why am I scared to come to the point? Because I don't know how to tell you without making you, or rather myself, upset again. But I will be a big girl and write it down like NOW, after I have warned you to take a seat or whatever kind of support. Although I think you're not the type to faint anyway. Sitting comfortably? Here goes:_

_I got kidnapped._

_I actually don't want to go in detail because- __O dear, look at the ink spots I've made now. Crybaby. But maybe it's better to tell you what exactly happened, so that you at least know I'm in one piece. After all, I got more than 2 hours left to write this. I already spent 2 on the earlier versions of this letter, to be honest._

_I was in the park, all by my lonely self, and then I noticed I actually wasn't alone at all. And then someone said "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you wouldn't happen to be a Plot Guardian, would you?" And I looked up and I thought O SHIT._

_And it was Grimmjow with his scary smirk, and, well, umm, I kind of freaked out. In a high-pitched way. __And then he said "That's not the right answer" and he grabbed me by my collar and lifted me up in the air. Have you ever been lifted up like that? It hurts more than you think, the fabric cuts into your skin- But I'm wandering off topic._

_So I started kicking around and screaming but as you know Grimmjow has the magical fairy dust Arrancar skin, so the only result of my kicks was a sore right toe. And there was not a single person in the park to hear me screech. And since I wasn't fainting and there didn't show up any supernatural help, I suppose he was hiding his spiritpower too. So it was all in vain. _

_And then he repeated the question, and added that I better not lie to him._

_So I replied that I wasn't such a thing, and asked what the hell he was talking about and who the hell he was. __Yeah, I thought that would be a smart thing to do. Which it was not._

_Because then he said: "Then I can dispose of you without any troubles, eh?" And let go of me and I fell on the ground (I now have two bruises on my sensitive little bottom) and took out his sword. __And then I screamed "No, no no no wait wait wait it's a mistake I'm sorry I AM a Plot Guardian my bad don't kill me."_

_Which wasn't very smart either. __Then he still moved his swords towards my throat and said "Prove it!" and I said:_

"_You're called Grimmjow" but the sword did not stop on its way, so I continued and I told him his rank, where his hole is supposed to be, what his sword and its release are called, and I don't remember what else, something about Ulquiorra too and that the Espada live in Las Noches and then I stopped to catch my breath. _

_Sorry for ignoring all rules of punctuation and taking a ridiculous amount of blank lines, which makes this altogether look way too dramatic and wastes a lot of paper, which of course ruins the rainforests, but if I pause too long there will be more ink spots, and they're all over the place already. I think this pen is a bit broken._

_And then he put the sword back into the sheath and looked down on me with a mixture of pure disdain and disappointment. Then he slapped me. I guess I'm pretty lucky there didn't come more, although my cheek is still red. __And he said__: "You better not lie to me again, missy, or we'll just replace you with that second one, ain't that fair?" And I gasped because I hadn't realized yet that if Aizen knew about Plot Guardian Business, he would know about you too. So I asked how the hell he knew that. I know that's stupid. I know I should've denied that you existed, but I was a little shaken up at the time, ok?_

_And then Grimmjow laughed. "How do I know that? You still don't get the picture?" __And then he told me the rest. Please fasten your seat belts:_

_Almost everything that happened until now was, pardon me the cliché, __**PART OF AIZEN'S PLAN**__._

_Hollow that nearly took me as lunch? Part of Aizen's plan. Ichigo saving my sorry butt? Part of Aizen's plan. Urahara explaining everything to us? Part of Aizen's plan. Me writing this letter? Part of Aizen's plan. __O shoot, there are the ink spots again. Anyway, just giving this all the 'Part Of Aizen's Plan' stamp won't do, and since I have nothing else to do, I'll just explain:_

_Aizen knew of our advent before we had even stepped inside the wardrobe. Don't ask me why,Grimmjow didn't know himself, so for the time being I blame it on his current occupation of almighty antagonist. __And he set out these nice little Hollows called Espias (I'm pretty sure that's Spanish for spies, considering his skills at coming up with creative names) in Karakura to await our arrival. Those nice little buggers can hide their spiritpower and perform shape shifts or something. You now probably realize that that thing that nearly ate me was one of those things, and apparently it was ordered to attack us the moment we were spotted. So that Aizen could see if we were granted any abilities to defend ourselves. I guess that he got his answer quite quickly. __And via the rest of those Espias Aizen has apparently heard our entire conversation at Urahara's. _

_Big Brother Sousuke is watching you._

_And now we make our jump back to the present, with me at a table, writing this to you. __A detail I probably should mention is that I am currently wearing a very familiar, fancy and fashionable bracelet that is oddly enough shaped like a handcuff._

_Yes. That bracelet. The one Inoue will be wearing in about 10 episodes when she says goodbye to Ichigo. The one that makes you invisible and gives you superspecialawesome ghost powers. The one that allows you to say goodbye to your friends without having them notice you. __A present from Aizen, with the instructions to meet Grimmjow again at the same spot within 12 hours. Oh, and I was forbidden to communicate directly with any of you._

_So I just went back to the shop and watched you guys panic. Man, you can swear when you're angry! If only I weren't drowning in self-pity. Then I would've laughed my ass off about what you called Ikkaku. And since it was a pretty sad sight to see you all so concerned (though it warmed my heart, I must confess) I thought of writing a letter to tell you I'm ok. Although this is more like a full-detailed report than a letter._

_That leaves us with the end of the story. So here comes the emotional goodbye speech:_

_Don't worry about me, because I'm doing it myself enough already. As long as I still have my Plot Guardian "powers" I'll be safe. __My motto for now will be: Scienta Potestas Est. That is Latin for 'knowledge is power'. Having a Latin motto might just compensate the fact I have a soul made of pudding. Why do I keep rambling like this? Argh, Aizen is SO going to pay my psychiatrist._

_You know, maybe it's better this way: Now we have a Plot Guardian at both sides. 50% more chance it'll work out, right? I'll just be hangin' out with the Arrancar crew for a while, and guard the plot at Las Noches. You make sure that the protagonists don't screw up! __That's about it, and I only have an hour left to find that cursed park again, so this is the goodbye. Finally. Geez, I sure write long letters, hmm? Might just be related to the fact that if I finish this letter, it will be my official leave-taking and there's no going back. Ah, the optimism._

_Sayonara, Myrthe-chan._

_PS: If you and your good-guys-gang don't show up in time at Las Noches to save my sorry ass, my vengeful spirit shall not rest until Renji and Rukia get married ON SCREEN and ask you to be the bridesmaid._

_PPS: Don't get killed on your way here or I'll end up waiting in Las Noches till I can sing soundly. And I don't like waiting for a long time if I don't have my iPod with me. What I'm trying to say is: I'm scared like hell and I don't want you to die. GOT IT MEMORIZED?_

**Me: DONE! It took me long enough to write this. Actually, not the writing part, the REwriting part. Because I first had this little nice effect called scratch, with which I could make a single line through text as if it were scratched through. It looked pretty neat and much more like a real letter. Then I found out FF doesn't support that kind of tricks. **

**Fanfic!Myrthe: .**

**Me: Shut up or I'll make you embarrass yourself in front of the entire Arrancar cast. So, what do you guys think? Liked this idea?**

**Fanfic!Myrthe: I think you should change back to the original way of storytelling.**

**Me: *Runs to the emocorner after swearing revenge***

**Fanfic!Myrthe: -_-; I'll be just on my way to Las Noches, then.**


	5. Welcome, Please Don't Enjoy Your Stay

**Chapter 6: In which I arrive in Las Noches**

**Location: In front of the main entrance of Las Noches, Hueco Mundo, Bleach.**

**Copyright: Tite KURIBOH. Hehe. Sounds almost like Little Kuriboh 3333**

* * *

"Well, here we are." Grimmjow and I stood in front of the gate. It was intimidating, but I was getting used to being intimidated.

"Seems like they're all keeping down their spiritpower for a change. All for the VIP. Anyway, time to go in, hmm?" Casually, Grimmjow blew a hole the size of my house in the wall. He turned around and bowed mockingly. "Ladies first."

I couldn't move. For the umpteenth time I was glued to the ground, my whole body resisting on its hardest against that order. It had been the same with going to that park. I think it's comparable to having to jump from a cliff. Lucky few who can jump without a second of doubt.

"I thought I was clear. I said: wimps first."

No reaction.

"Unbelievable" he muttered, and walked back. Again my body took the lead and I backed down. How more useless could an act be. He simply just appeared next to me and grabbed my arm.

"He told me to be careful with little missy's mental state" he grumbled "but he picked the wrong guy for this." He clenched my arm tighter, I was pretty sure he was cutting off my blood veins. "No guided tour for you. We're going straight for the main attraction." And with that he just flashed away while dragging me behind him. Ever been in a really fast rollercoaster? Then please put that memory in hyper drive and you might have an idea of how that felt.

Suddenly we stopped. In front of another gate.

"Tch. Of course they would be sitting in the only room that leaks no spiritpower to the outside. For such a mere human…" He turned around and gave me a glare.

"You better be useful, missy."

And he opened the door and pushed me inside.

The feeling was indescribable. The best way to describe it is to ask your imagination a favour. Ask your imagination to recreate the feeling of a 1000 decibel bass resonating through your body, as if you were standing next to an amplifier in a rock concert. Ask your imagination to let you experience the buzzing in your ears again, when your plane takes off. And final, take an overdose of sleeping pills and experience the weird feeling of fainting within 5 seconds.

The room blurred before my eyes before I could even take one look. In fact, I wasn't even aware of hitting the ground. Or maybe I was caught by someone, but considering my rank in the social order here, they probably just let me fall.

When I first woke up in that all white room, I was completely clueless. I did not know where the hell I was and how the hell I got there.

"What the…"

Then the pictures rushed back like an unexpected wave washing you over when you look over your shoulder. Suzume. Wardrobe. Ichigo. Hollow. Toushiro. Teacup. Park. Grimmjow. Thousand scattered pellets of unfinished letters. One envelope on the tea table. Hueco Mundo. Gate. Room-

I heard footsteps coming my way. Scared, I quickly laid down and closed my eyes. It didn't matter who it was, that person would scare me to hell. I heard the door open.

_I so don't want to open my eyes. I so don't want to open my eyes. I so-_

"Rise and shine!"

_Ichimaru._

I had of course to open my eyes. I gave a small yell at the foxy face that had bluntly shoved into my sight. That creepy smile has been added to my list of things I don't want to see after waking up ever again.

"Gin, please refrain from scaring her next time."

_O shit. O shitshitshitSHIT._

There he stood, in the door opening. Taller than expected, the infamous curl softly waving in a non-existent breeze, eyes that pierced through everything. But you know, the real funny part was that he wasn't scary at all. Don't laugh at me, but if I hadn't known he was actually a diabolical douchebag, I probably would've thought he was a nice, friendly and harmless guy. _Ahaha, the irony._

But I do know. So let's just forget what I said and move on to my predictable reaction, which was crouching back.

He smiled. A very comforting and friendly smile that somehow made me relax a little.

_He's toying with you. Focus. Focus! _

"Ah, we finally meet in person and all in good consciousness, Myrthe."

_Him saying my name has been added to list of things I don't want to hear after waking up ever again._

"It seemed like you couldn't handle the presence of all the Espada at once. Some of us are sadly enough not skilled enough to suppress all of their spiritpower, and the little leaking amount… Well, I had calculated you could withstand it, but I seem to have mistaken. How are you feeling right now?"

As everyone probably expected, I was too scared to answer. He seemed to understand this and nodded friendly. I crouched a bit closer to the wall.

"Now now, no reason to get scared."

_How the hell are you supposed to answer something like that?_

"Seems like she's not buyin' th' story."

"Maybe she could use some breakfast first, indeed. Ulquiorra?"

A familiar person walked in, pushing a chart with food. The smell of warm coffee and fresh bread relaxed my tenseness for a bit. _If only it weren't brought to me by Aizen's pet bat that scares the crap out of me._

He didn't seem to enjoy his chore, since he directly made his leave afterwards. I guess it had something to do with my status as useless, powerless, and most of all human wuss.

"We'll leave you with your breakfast. Shall we go, Gin?"

"Have a nice breakfast!"

And I was alone again.

When they were gone, I tried to do as many things that didn't require thinking but did distract me from my situation. I cautiously approached the chart. I poured some hot coffee. I put in a lot of sugar. And some more sugar. I carefully picked up the cute spoon. The tinkling sound it made when it touched the cup startled me. I stirred.

I took a sip. I burned my tongue. I cursed and dropped the cup. I got hot coffee all over me. I shouted.

I was going a little insane.

I left the burning coffee on my already pretty ragged up clothes and crawled under the blanket, trembling.

I started crying under the blanket. I wanted to never ever EVER do something again besides trembling under this very blanket that smelled disgustingly normal. I wanted to be transported back to my own little room right NOW.

A lot of time passed while I spaced out under the blanket.

"For crying out loud, get a spine, put on these clothes and follow me."

Suddenly my cosy little isolation was cruelly taken away, along with the blanket that Grimmjow pulled off me.

"Can't even drink that filthy liquid" he scoffed after one look at my coffee-stained clothes. Instead of my blanket, he had thrown some white fabric on the bed. It turned out to be a white dress. It was very pretty, I dare say it was prettier than Inoue's, without the ridiculous balloon sleeves. Also it seemed tailor-made. That last part scared me a little.

"What are you waiting for? Put 'em on!"

I turned around, facing Grimmjow.

_I sure as hell am NOT gonna undress myself here in front of YOU, from all people. __But I'm not entirely sure that's the most sensitive thing to say. How many dilemmas are going to haunt me?_

Apparently he read from my facial expression and/or bright red cheeks what my problem was.

"Ahaha, our little missy is a bit prudish, eh?" I held the white fabric a bit closer to my body. "Oh, no need to be scared." He put his hands over his eyes. "All you need to do is hurry up and I won't take a single look" he said, still covering his eyes. I actually wanted to say that he might as well turn around, but that sword he carries around can be very… obnoxious. So I just turned my back on him, which was the least I could do, although that didn't feel very comfortable either, and examined my new uniform.

_Oh boy. Turbochanging isn't my specialty. But when exactly in this entire affair did I ever get to decide over something?_

So I just changed as quickly as I could, and as I suspected, it fitted me alarmingly well. Halfway the dressing, I heard a light chuckle behind me. As I directly turned around, I directly stared into Grimmjow's sparkling eyes that peeked through two gaps between his fingers. Sparkling eyes that without any delay directly scanned my body with a mix of curiosity and… disappointment. I shrieked and darted back; he let out a full barking laugh while pointing at me, or to be exact, what he had been peeking at.

"Why so prudish, missy, when there's nothing about you worth peeking at?" he said, still grinning.

_Ouch. So far my maiden's pride. Oh well, how can I help it that I happen to be walking around in the same building as, oh I don't know, maybe Halibel and her harem?_

"Hey hey hey, what's with the angry look?" he snickered. Then he suddenly turned all serious and threatening.

"Are you hundred percent sure you want to continue with provoking me like that, missy?" His hand went oh so slow towards his sheath. If I could, I would've backed down even further. But I already stood against the wall. So you can imagine how I felt when he, déjà vu, took one step forward and bent over until his eyes were at the same height as mine and filled my entire sight. He just stared at me. It might've been for seconds, for minutes, hell it might have even been an hour to me, before he suddenly started to laugh maniacally (again) and scared the crap out of me. Again.

"Dear me, you might be the most useless thing I have ever seen stumbling on two left feet, but your scaredy-cat face is the best I've ever seen!" He managed to bring out between two laugh attacks. I quickly turned around and finished dressing, my cheeks bright red and my sight turning cloudy.

"This is the best toy I've ever had since I got Pantera!" Grimmjow was close to getting a stomach-ache from laughter by now. _The bullies from primary school are angels compared to these people. _

"Grimmjow."

_Oh. Sure. My day was already great, so let's add another portion of Ulquiorra to it. No objections here at all._

Grimmjow sighed as annoyed as possible and reluctantly turned around to face the green-eyed mime. That could speak. Sometimes.

"I think Aizen-sama wasn't clear enough with his orders" Ulquiorra said, his face an unoccupied desert of non-existing emotions. _Better pray 'n run when Ulquihime fans find out my opinion on him. And on Inoue._

"And what brings you here on this lovely evening, Ulquiorra?" Grimmjow said, as sarcastic as possible. Ulquiorra just ignored him. _He also ignores me._

"His orders were not to upset the human."

_The human. So far my maiden's pride AND my self-esteem._

"Aww, come on. That wasn't even teasing!"

_If that's true, I don't want to know what bullying is like here. _A flashback of Inoue getting beaten the crap out of her sent some shivers down the graceful folds of my dress.

Or technically speaking, it was/is a flash forward, since it has yet to happen in this world/anime/dream. But since this is a simple fanfic, and I suck at science, I will drop the time-and-space-continuum-thingy and go back to the discussion. About 'the human'.

"Aizen-sama isn't very pleased with your current actions."

"Hey!" Grimmjow got angry now. "It's not like I ASKED for the job of babysitter!" He gestured towards me in a most contemptuous way.

"Then you will be pleased to hear that you are relieved from your duty as babysitter, and that you may never again interact with her except in emergencies." _Oh well. At least he acknowledges my gender._

Grimmjow grumbled something and then turned towards me.

"Well, guess this is good-bye. See ya, missy." He messed up my hair, did a final "BOO!" in my face so that I screamed again, grinned, and walked out the door.

_I've had good-byes more painful than that._

"Now then, follow me."

Ulquiorra already stood in the door opening. I quickly followed.

We crossed a lot of corridors. And with a lot, I mean that halfway I started to wheeze like an old Golden Retriever after chasing that nasty Siamese from the neighbours.

Ulquiorra seemed a little annoyed. Probably because our speed wasn't exactly worthy of the name. Then suddenly he spoke, so loud and clear I was startled. Again.

"I want to make a few things clear to you."

"Uhm, ok?" _OshitoshitoshitOSHI-_

"Aizen-sama is interested in your knowledge." I nodded.

"And when you cannot provide any useful information, or tell lies, he will lose interest."

I didn't nod; instead I just looked at the incredibly interesting, captivating floor.

"And when he loses interest, you will be something even less than an outlaw."

_This must be the most amazing floor I've ever seen._

"Which means that any Arrancar, from a simple Menos to an Espada, can do whatever he or she wishes with you." The rather disturbing scene in which Loly and Menoly beat the crap out of Inoue flashed before my eyes.

"There are a few Arrancar here who have already shown interest in torturing you to death, for example Grimmjow, Szayel, Yammy, Loly, Menoly-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get the point" I mumbled, an image of ME getting beaten the crap out of myself flashing by. _Floorfocusing… Floorfocusing…_

I nearly bumped into him when he suddenly stopped to give me a glare I will never forget. And since I'm a wuss and just a liiiittle bit afraid of Ulquiorra, I quickly lowered my gaze and went back to observing the floor.

"I should warn you not to disappoint Aizen-sama, or even think about lying. Because he is about the only one in Las Noches who doesn't want to kill you out of disgust."

_That's strange. The floor is wet._

After that, we quickly reached another hella huge door. Of course, it just opened out of itself since this was Aizen's doll house.

The bastard himself sat on a rather large throne with a cup of tea in one hand, his head resting on the other.

"Ah, Myrthe. It seems like you have recovered a bit." _I would give up my secret stash of chocolate if that would make him stop saying my name._

"And your dress seems to be fitting well." _Sick pervert._

"You seem a little upset though…" _Don't snap, don't snap…_

"... Is there a problem?"

_From the moment I woke up after, oh I don't know, I was KIDNAPPED, you and your employees have scared me to hell and further, made me cry several rivers, called me things that weren't even said to slaves in the ancient times, peeked at me while dressing and haven't even stopped once threatening me so much I could sue all of your asses off for verbal harassment._

"N-no."

"Ulquiorra, any problems?"

"Nothing besides what Aizen-sama had already seen. With Grimmjow taking his order to watch over her a little too literally."

"Ah, Grimmjow, yes." He turned towards me again.

"My apologies for his misbehaviour. You do not have to fear of seeing him again."

I didn't answer, although he had an expectant look on his face, as if waiting for a 'thanks'.

_There's no way in hell I'm going to say thank you to Aizen freaking Sousuke._

Aizen himself had probably figured that out himself, and a small, overconfident and definitely scary smirk crept up the corners of his mouth.

"Now then, since you have recovered, I think it's time for us to come to business."

"S-sure." _Spineless little chicken._

"Ain'tcha scarin' the lil' miss a bit too much, Aizen-taichou?"

_And the crap continues._

"Time to come to business… You aware you're talkin' to a young lass?"

"I'm sure she can handle this, Gin. Now then" he turned back to me, "let's analyze your situation: First, you may leave any moment you want to and no one will stop you."

_Ok… didn't see that coming. _The same thought must've been visible in my intelligent-looking face, for both started to grin a little.

"Of course, you might not want to."_ Give me one good reason._

"See, this is the only place free from wild Hollow wandering about in Hueco Mundo. Outside, every creature will try to eat you." _Damn._

"Now that that's out of the way, I will explain to you what exactly your purpose is in my plans."

"What… i-if I…" I was planning on saying something heroic, like 'What If I Refuse, You Bastard' but I couldn't even finish, let alone make it sound heroic. So Aizen just continued.

"I need your information. You will tell anything I want to know."

He smiled. "Peanuts."

_Peanuts._

_Peanuts._

_P-E-A-N-U-T-S._

"I won't tell you a thing!" I screeched; my voice all but confident and my attitude all but dignified. Nonetheless Aizen raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you know everything here will change if I tell you things you shouldn't know? I can't just-" The harsh slap on my cheek made me fall and the directly following kick in my stomach made me roll over and gasp like a guppy out of water.

"How dare a mere human talk to Aizen-sama like that." Ulquiorra merely stated the fact that I just did something unforgivable. I stared up to him, still trying to reclaim my breath, the loud sobs making my body tremble like mad. For the first time he had some sort of emotion on his features, looking at me with anger and abomination. I curled up like a ball again, just like when the Hollow had attacked me.

"Ulquiorra." Aizen sounded a little sharp. "There was no need for such harsh actions, even if you were holding yourself back." Then, to me: "Get up, please."

_Sorry, having a mental breakdown over here. Please try again later._

Someone grabbed my hair and pulled it upwards until I stood on my feet.

"I am beginning to lose my patience." When I made eye contact with Aizen again, I regretted that highly. Given, he is already intimidating when he looks nice and cuddly with his ah-the-enemy-is-here-but-let's-have-tea-first-attitude, but when he looks just a little bit more serious… I couldn't avert my eyes. I've never had that before, but I couldn't avert my eyes. I felt like the moment I would do that, something would happen. Something bad.

"For me, there is no danger in knowing too much. You see, in your world, ours is nothing more than a story. A story is driven by a plot." _I can handle so far, thank you very much. I write stories myself, you know._

"It means that everything happening here in this world is happening according to that plot."

_Again, I'm not THAT slow._

"A story is often nothing more than a conflict between the good guys or a hero, and the bad guys or a villain. Judging by you actions and you reactions to me, it seems that in this 'story', this world, I am the villain. And I can't think of anyone else as the hero than Kurosaki. Am I right?"

My scared face must've been enough.

"And what usually happens to villains: in the end, they lose, hmm?"

This was dangerous. If I screwed up, Aizen would know his fate. And that could be put into the category "Spoiler Extraordinaire". _Focus… Use your pokerface… use your pokerface…_

"It seems I am right. Now then, to continue my theory: The 'plot' you are supposed to guard will thus lead to my defeat." _Where the hell is he going?_

"Now let's reverse the situation: If this plot is disturbed, it will no longer be able to lead to my defeat. Do you understand?" _Yeah. I have a slight clue where this is going, and I don't like it._

"It means that if I can even change the slightest thing in this 'plot' by obtaining forbidden information, I will be the victor instead of Kurosaki. It means I will win."

_Oh. Now I get it._

_Fuck._

"Now, the last thing I want to make clear is why you're not in the position to refuse my orders. You see, you don't really have a choice at all. Let me make this even clearer with some examples. If you refuse, there are several options to force you." _Several options…?_

"The easiest way would be to torture answers out of you. Grimmjow in particular is skilled in this." _No shit. _Again, a painfully realistic scene flashed before my eyes, and I was on the edge of overflowing again.

"Then there is the option of leaving Szayel in charge of you." _The crazy scientist?_

"He might eventually find a way to get the truth out of you, but that won't be a very pleasurable way either." _I know that. Anyone who has seen Szayel vs Renji & Ishida knows that. I don't want that creep within a 15 mile radius of me._

"These are the quickest options, however, there are downsides. There is a reasonable risk you will lose either your life or your mind. Therefore, the best option would be to use… A hostage."

_Suzume._

* * *

**F!Myrthe: Well well well. You actually FINISHED it? Do you have any idea how long you let me and everyone else wait?  
Me: Sorry.**

**F!Myrthe: Sorry, what was that?**

**Me: SORRY! Dude.**

**F! Ok, that was it, stay tuned for the next bucketload of trouble, and-**

**Me: WAIT! STOP! SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!**

* * *

**I'm honoured to announce that my friend Suus, or as she is called here IfTreesCouldFly (though she hasn't published her kickass work yet) will be taking part in this FF too! She is the model for Suzume and a great friend in real life (Yes. I actually have friends in real life. Biggest revelation in the entire chapter) too.**

**She will be writing about the same story, from Suzume's POV. And guess what: A teaser! She has more, but won't send me. Because I- well, it gets too complicated, but in short it's because of my laziness.**

**Anyway, N-JOY!**

* * *

So as you've probably read before(if you don't read it it's awesome). Me and Myrthe wanted to find Narnia, but found Karakura town instead. You could call that epic failure, which it is, or an awesome coincidence. But let me start from the beginning.

There I was, standing in front of her door just raping that doorbell like it was Ray William Johnson. Meanwhile trying to keep myself from exploding with talk about Anime to her mom. Poor thing, I would never to that to her. Not even to my worst enemies. But that's just because I have better plans for them. AHEM.  
So for short, I tried to keep 5000 things inside me, only to pour them over Myrthe, but she would understand and laugh… WAIT, that's wrong. But let's skip to the interesting part, after we talked, watched and breathed anime. It then, somehow, changed into Narnia (no, I don't get the transition either, but we're awesome who cares?)

So we decided, in all our awesomeness, to go and find NARNIA! Which was quite a problem since I know her closet and it has shit in it. So we threw everything out and got in, it was tight first but as we walked further we realised. DUDE WE CAN WALK IN YOUR CLOSET? Before we could think about it we fell down. A lot (and I mean A LOT) of swear words and bad phrases further we landed, surprisingly soft. On the pavement, now I don't know Myrthe's closet so I didn't know if this was supposed to happen but according to her reaction it was not.

* * *

**SO! That's all! See you next chapter! Btw, these lines are pretty awesome.**


	6. Deals With Devils

**Chapter ****7: In which the crappiness continues.**

**Location: Somewhere in Las Noches, Hueco Mundo, Bleach.**

**Copyright: Tite Kubobobo**

* * *

_Suzume. They're going use Suzume as a hostage._

"Do you understand now? There never was an option for refusing in the first place."

_Never an o__ption… _I felt like a wave hit me from behind and washed me over. My legs gave out. If Ulquiorra hadn't been holding my hair, I would've just fallen down to the ground and never stood up again. Now I just winced in pain again as some of my precious yellowish hair fluttered down in overly dramatic slow-motion. But I still stood. Somehow.

"I think that is enough for now, so I will just test your abilities and then leave you for a bit."

I stared at the ground again. _Abilities…_

"Please answer honestly and detailed. Will my next move be successful?"

I was in too much of a crisis to react. Ulquiorra yanked my hair. "Answer."

"You mean, kidnapping Inoue Orihime?" I finally answered, looking up into Aizen's eyes again. Uilquiorra and Ichimaru both seemed to be surprised for a second, but the big boss nodded as if I had stated that water is wet.

"Indeed. Gin, you better get used to the fact she knows what will happen from now on."

At that, foxy-face suddenly looked directly at me, and his eyelids parted a few inches to give me a direct glare. Rukia once talked about how she had felt when she first met Ichimaru, and I have to say, she wasn't exaggerating. It did feel as if the air around me tried to smother me. My hands started to tremble even more than they were already doing, my mouth became even drier. And now that he looked at me with those creepy eyes above that creepy smile, I was once again glad someone else was in charge of keeping me on my legs. And then, at last, I understood why he was glaring at me.

_He knows that I know. He knows that I know that he wants to betray Aizen. I am a danger to his plans. _I started to tremble unconsciously. Throughout the whole story, Ichimaru had gotten rid of people standing in his way like they were nothing. Discarded his almost too loyal lieutenant like nothing. Nearly killed Hinamori like it was nothing. Nearly killed Rukia like it was nothing. Nearly killed that Hiyori girl like it was nothing. _Certainly he can kill me like it is nothing. _

"For the second time, will my plan succeed?" Another yank at my hair brought me back to the technically-not-so-real-and-yet-so-painfully-real world.

I remembered how Urahara had warned me. Even the slightest mistake on my side would completely screw all chances of Ichigo kicking Aizen's ass. Yet, that was my second priority. My first was, obviously, myself. If Aizen knew too much, if he grew too strong… There was a 100% chance nobody would be able to reach this godforsaken hellhole in time to get me out.

_If I tell him, I might die__ later._

_If I don't tell him, Suzume might die._

_If I tell him, we both won't die directly._

_If I don't tell him, they're going to torture me._

_I am scared of pain. I am scared of death._

"Yes" I mumbled.

"Pardon me, I didn't get that." The mock in Aizen's voice was noticeable, even for me. And that hit another of my already oversensitive nerves.

"I. Said. YES!" I screamed, trembling from all the stress.

"Yes. YES! It will all go smooth! She'll just happily tag along! No problems! Spotless! Happy now? NOW?"

I broke down, my legs really giving in. Ulquiorra made a disgusted sound and let go of my hair, and I fell flat on the floor. I didn't even have the strength to curl my self up into my usual ball; I just lied there flat out, shaking from toe to top, wailing, all fear and stress pouring out of me through my eyes.

"Ain't it just heartbreakin', eh?" I heard Gin say, more curious than amused or actually caring.

"This will obviously take longer than I thought" Aizen sighed. "Ulquiorra, you know what to do. Gin, please escort her back to her room."

"Roger!" I instinctively cringed as I heard footsteps come closer. My head hurt from all the crying out loud, and together with all my intense emotions, my energy had flowed out of me in my last fit.

"Sorry if yeh don' like it, but yeh gotta come with me, m'lady." I felt completely blank, and it was as if every little thing went through some sort of fog before I sensed it. I was already upside-down when I had processed someone had picked me up and held me under an arm as if I was some laundry. _Like I care. _

_Like I care. _

**_*__Naruto: Pagebreak no Jutsu!*_**

Again, Ichimaru crossed a lot of corridors with me uncomfortablywatching everything upside down while my hair was swept over the ground.

Then suddenly, within less than a second, we stood in some sort of painfully white room. I was put down rather roughly, and saw two feet step in front of me. I looked up, right into that nerve-killing, sly grin of Mr. Foxy-face.

"Aizen won' be able ta hear us here."

It took me a couple of moments to process that. _But he's Big Brother Aizen._

Then, another thought shyly revealed itself to me, growing bigger and more panicking as I realized what this could only mean.

"You…" I didn't know how to say it without triggering a possibly fatal response.

"Wha' yeh did back there was pretty neat, m'lady. It makes one wonder how much yeh actually know, eh?" He had opened his eyes a few inches again, with his eerie eyes piercing into mine.

There was no escaping it now. _I know your real motives._

He sighed. "'Kay, let's skip th' whole questioning then, hmm?" _For my sake don't ask…_

"What does th' lil' lady know 'bout little old me?"

I swallowed. Sweat ran down my back, my heartbeat was going mad.

"Jus' make sure ya don't lie ta me. An' don't make me repeat myself. What do ya know?''

"M… More than A-A-A…" I couldn't get the word out of my mouth.

"More than Aizen does?" I didn't nod or anything, but my expression must've said it all.

He grabbed my arm and 'helped' me up, but didn't let go. He forced me to look him directly in the face.

"Say it." His grip tightened more and more as I tried to find a good way to say it. A way in which I wouldn't reveal the rather tragic outcome.

"You're gonna betray him" I finally whispered, wishing I could look away. _Farewell, cruel world…_

His eyes narrowed again, and his smirk widened. I didn't expect that reaction, and neither did I trust it. But it did allow me to avert my eyes, which I was longing for a lot.

"I thought so." _Why is everyone here, Wonderweiss not included, a freaking genius?_

"And ya know the outcome, don'tcha?"

I immediately looked down. _Another spoiler extraordinaire._

"Ya can't say it, can ya?"

Nod.

"Better not say it anyway."

"You don't…" _You don't wanna know if all your efforts will be worth it?_

His grin grew a little smug. "Let's say this: If I know I'll fail, I'll never try. An' if I know I'll succeed, I'll get careless an' still fail. I ain't a fool like Aizen."

_That's… Actually pretty damn logical._

And then, for the first time, I suddenly saw a bit of hope glowing in the form of an imaginary light bulb above my head. _Idea._

"So, you don't want Aizen to know your plans, do you?" I tried to sound as confident as possible.

Ichimaru just had that grin on his face and didn't react.

"But… I know them."

_You can do it. __You gotta do it. Come on Myrthe, have some guts. Say the words._

"And… I could tell Aizen about them."

"You could?"

I swallowed.

"So maybe we can- maybe we can make…"

"Ah, you want a deal, am I right?"

I carefully nodded. "You protect me from that- that- from Aizen…"

"And you keep yer two cute lil lips zipped?"

"Y-yeah."

"An' what if I just kill you right here 'nd now?" The way he said it casually, with that sickening grin on his face, it made me want to take back all words. But I had found a little path out, and there was no way I'd let this chance slip.

"Then you might as well paint '_I'm suspicious_' on your forehead and dance in front of Aizen."

He chuckled. "Wouldn't it be a huge 'spoiler' if ya told Aizen?"

He was right. It would be an incorrectable mistake as a Plot Guardian. But he had forgotten one thing.

"You honestly think I'm preferring the plot of this world, that isn't even mine, above my own hide?" I was speaking the truth. I didn't care enough for heroism, or for the world, or people that weren't me.

"You know damn well I'm not a hero like pretty much the entire cast here. I just want to survive. If that means making the wrong decisions, so be it. If that means snitching, so be it. If that means that others will die for my sake… I won't be proud of it, but so be it."

His grin grew wider. _Oh God's now he's gonna kill me for sure._

"Yer damn manipulative fer a lil' human, m'lady. And on top of it damn right too. Seems like we're both checkmate, eh?"

_Both? I'm the who__ can tell Aizen! You're the only one checkmate!_

"Yer thinkin' that you've won, eh? But yer forgettin' one lil' thing."

_What is he talking about?_

"Shoot to kill…."

_O fu-_

"… Shinsou." A flash of light blinded me, and I felt a gust of wind hitting me as if a rollercoaster just passed me with only a few centimetres between. When I recovered from my one-second-black-out, Gin was smiling as if nothing had happened. I felt a sharp sting in my left arm.

There was a small scratch where something sharp had barely touched the skin after effortlessly cutting through my sleeve.

_Holy fuck._

"I could still kill ya any moment I want to." He said, still playing with his small –_oh the irony_- sword.

"So, do we have a deal, m'lady?"

_I know he is a jolly good fellow deep down inside, but I still think I'm about to make a deal with a devil._

"D-deal."

"A deal it is!" he cheered, and then quickly pulled me with him towards the door. "Now, let's keep it a hush-hush, 'kay? Jus' put yer sad lil' puppy-face up an' no one will see a thing."

_I'm a lousy actor, you know._

**_*Naruto: Pagebreak no Jutsu!*_**

I was brought back to my room, and without a word my new accomplice (the thought still scared and amazed me) closed the door. I crawled in my bed, and despite the emotional mess in my head, I fell almost directly asleep.

If only I'd known what was waiting for me when I would wake up_._

**~On the other side of cosmos, a while back:**

**Suzume's POV.**

Previously:

_So we decided, in all our awesomeness, to go and find NARNIA! Which was quite a problem since I know her closet and it has shit in it. So we threw everything out and got in, it was tight first but a__s we walked further we realised: DUDE WE CAN WALK IN YOUR CLOSET? Before we could think about it we fell down. A lot (and I mean A LOT) of swear words and bad phrases further we landed, surprisingly soft. On the pavement, now I don't know Myrthe's closet so I didn't know if this was supposed to happen but according to her reaction it was not. And then she tripped over her own feet while standing still. How she can do that I have no idea, but it sure as hell is one heck of a talent! _

_Which yours truly also possesses._

So you know what happened next. Except for the fact that when the Hollow attacked Myrthe, Rukia had to grab my hair in order to prevent me from kicking that Hollow's ass.

But let's skip to the present.

After Myrthe had ran away I walked back to the tea-party. I didn't run after her because well one, I am lazy, and two, I know that people want to be alone when they're upset. Or at least I like to. Not that I am upset a lot, no. I'm a happy person! And I like to keep it that way, but here we are wandering of from the whole story line. So I walked back, and everyone stared at me of course. I sat down beside Renji and Ikkaku because those are my favourite characters and put my normal awkwardness around boys aside. I was convinced it was a dream, so why not make the best of it? I noticed that everyone was looking at me with a face that said: So what-the-hell-just-happened?

"She's a bit upset about the whole not-being-able-to-return-home-thing. She'll be fine, just give her some time and she'll come back."

Well I was wrong. Myrthe didn't return. We waited, talked, waited. And talked some more. But after about 30 minutes we started to worry.

"Why isn't the blonde girl returning?" The tenth squad captain asked serious.  
"I dunno, Karakura town is a big place you know. Maybe she's lost." I said_. __Please let her be lost please please don't tell me she got attacked or anything._

We had been waiting an hour or so, and in that time I had been running through the Urahara shop trying to forget the fact that Myrthe was missing. Curious as I am, I wanted to know exactly what it actually looked like. And much to my disappointment it was smaller than I thought it was. Urahara was probably happy about the fact, because he had been running after me trying to prevent me from breaking anything. When we got back into the room we started in, it was empty.

Except for one thing, one paper lying on the small table in the middle of the room. At that moment my heart stopped beating, I knew this scene. I knew a scene like this. It was when Orihime was kidnapped to Hueco Mundo. I knew without reading that the same thing had happened to Myrthe.

'Shit.' _Shit shit shit shit shit FUCK_. I felt the panic coming up and the adrenaline rushing through my body when I finished reading the letter. Judging by the looks of the group, they had noticed something was wrong. Suppressing the intense feeling of panic I stood up: "ALRIGHT, Myrthe has been kidnapped by Aizen. WE, need to go to Hueco Mundo and rescue her. BUT FIRST, I will need some better clothes to fight in, like Xena's! Well no, that would not fit here, and I don't do well in skirts. And we don't want me to worry about my skirt instead of the enemy. And I don't think you've ever heard of Xena. WAIT, maybe I could have some awesome Plot Guardian outfit! I've always wanted to be a superhero! Or maybe a shinigami uniform! WITH my own Zanpakuto. Wow, it's like a dream coming true and…"

Before I had time to finish my rambling -which probably would have gone on and on forever- I was interrupted by Urahara.  
"You, little miss, are not going anywhere. And you are certainly not fighting with us" he said, with a slightly irritated voice. The others nodded in agreement.  
"No."  
"Excuse me?"  
"I am not staying here just to miss all the excitement. What if I told you..." I turned to Ichigo "... that one of your friends here got kidnapped and you couldn't come to rescue him/her? I am not going to stay here like I can't do anything. You can't make me stay, I know things you don't, and I think it would be pretty helpful having me around. Just teach me how to use a weapon and I'm ready. Trust me, I can learn quickly."  
Silence fell over the room and they all looked at each other, not knowing what to decide.

Would I join them? Or not?

* * *

**Me: Sooo, D****ouble Cliffhanger No Jutsu! Thanks and kudos and credits to Suzanne-chan for taking some of her precious time to write this. **

**And what do you lovely people think? I'm actually quite curious about your opinions on the characters of Fanfic!Myrthe and Suzume. More about Fanfic!Myrthe actually. She needs a bit *cough* of improvement. Less tears for starters, I think. Or does it make her more realistic/pitiable? **

**Fanfic!Myrthe: -_-; and this is why one day I will escape from your imagination and cut you up multiple times with Grell-san's chainsaw, toast you with Axel-sama's chakrams, tell Edward Elric that you said he is a midget and go all Accel Synchro on your non-existent ass. **

**Me: O_o On second thought, less sadism is of more priority. Back in character, you!**


	7. A Dramaqueen's Resolve

**Chapter 8: In which things get even better. How convenient. **

**Location: Las Noches Grand Hotel Suite 001**

**Copyright: Tite Kubo.**

* * *

_Oh God, I'm still here._

That was the first thing that shot through my sleepy head when I woke up. The painfully white walls with painfully white furniture burned into my half-opened eyes.

I was still in Las Noches. The fact made me immediately curl up and pull the blanket back over my head. The dark comforted me, as well did the thought that Aizen couldn't see me now.

_He's probably watching me. Or someone else is watching me for him._

_I don't know whether that is an improvement or not._

My head hurt. I slowly started to remember the events from yesterday, in a random order that made my head hurt even more. Ichimaru's face by breakfast. Ichimaru's glare. Ulquiorra's glare. Ulquiorra tugging my hair. Ulquiorra saving me from Grimmjow. Grimmjow peeking at me while I was changing. Aizen. Aizen. Aizen finding out crucial spoilerific information that had to be kept from him by all costs. Aizen telling me he will get his information at all costs. Suzume as a hostage. My alliance with Ichimaru freakin' Gin.  
I groaned under the blanket, thankful that nobody could see my face right now.

_I'm done for. I'm fucking done for._ For some reason, mornings weren't my best moments of the day, no matter what had happened the day before. Or in this case, it actually mattered, but it only made things worse.

The memories kept pouring in, but there was one thing that came back again and again. It was that maddening smug smile from His Royal Bastardness himself. It simply drove me around the corner, the way he looked so evilly content and arrogant, and the worst thing was he actually had enough reason to be content and arrogant. His new puppet had danced almost perfectly the way he wanted, despite her obvious lack of any grace and composure. I punched the mattress and imagined it was his face.

_Die, Aizen. _Punch. _I don't care about the plot, just die, _punch_ die, _punch_ and die _punch punch _again. _Punch. _I don't care if 20,000 years in prison are supposed to happen. _Punch. _You should be dead. _Falcon Punch.  
_And with dead, I don't mean that your psychotic Gary Stu excuse for a _punch_ soul goes to Soul Society again. I mean that your very _punch _existence will be erased in a most painful way. _El Directo Punch.

_I would give anything just to make him upset. _My fists were shaking too much to deliver a Final Punch now. _Really, anything. I would give, no, I would even DO anything to see his corpse. _At this point, the detestable image of that despised grin was so overpowering, that I wasn't even surprised by my own rather unusual bloodlust. Bloodlust. That word maybe described my feelings better than rage, hatred or whatever kind of negative emotion. Bloodlust, combined with a maddening helplessness, that made me even more bloodthirsty.

And that's where I made my new resolve. My hate for him, my hate for this place, my hate for whatever the hell was happening to me and whoever the hell had set this up- that hate would become my new strength. I would get a spine just so that maybe I could sweep that smile off his face. My desire to tear him and this entire place including its residents apart would get me through this. Bloodlust would be my guide, revenge would be my blade, hatred would be my partner in crime. In all anime, you can see how far one can get if driven by a desire for revenge. It wasn't the noblest motive, but at least it was something I could hold onto- and that was all I needed. An emotion that could make me crawl up by just remembering that smile. Crawling up and make him crawl.

_Now then, how to actually do that._

There were two options, I concluded. I could use my all and face him with my new strength, and hope that by resisting I could sabotage his plans, not reveal even more crucial information and, most importantly, make him angry or at least not amused. Second, I could keep up my image of worthless coward, and stab him in the back. Somehow.

They were both attractive. The first one because the whole idea of heroic resistance appealed my rather sensitive ego, and because it was the fastest way of crossing Aizen.

The second because I was already familiar with the technique of getting yourself underestimated. And it was safer. And easier, because if I'd really break down, it wouldn't be so obvious.

After a half hour of internal discussion, option two was voted first.

_Time to get to work._

I got out of bed, slowly, clinging to my blanket.

_They will always be watching you. Be on your guard. Be the actress you could never be._

I slowly approached the sink and mirror, making sure I trembled a bit and that my way of walking was edgy and unsure. I looked into the mirror.

_Holy shit._

I hadn't prepared for that sight yet. I should've known that after approximately two days of kidnapping, crying, stress and no chance of doing something about my make-up (read: poor mascara), I would look pretty bad. But I hadn't thought of that when I carelessly looked into the mirror.

Back at me stared a girl that might as well have been surviving in the Amazone for two weeks while being haunted by Jack the Ripper.

Her blonde curls, which were about the only things she was proud of when it came to her looks, had turned into an inextricable mess of faint yellow burdocks. Her skin had an unhealthy colour that balanced between pink and grey. Her lips were dried out. Her eyes were the worst part: the mascara was smeared all over her face. The watery black blurb melted effortlessly into the dark purple shades under her eyes from exhaustion; the eyes themselves were swollen so much you could barely see the unusually big pupils and turbid barely-blue irises; around the irises lingered a thousand red veins.

_Now then, start acting. _

I can't put off a good fake cry, so instead, I just stared at myself with a shock that was only partly acted. "O fuck" I whispered, trying to be loud enough to be heard. I stammered back to my bed and sank down, letting my head rest in my hands. "Damn this all…" I tried to make my shoulders shake as naturally as possible without overacting.

**Knock knock.**

"I DON'T WANT BREAKFAST! SHUT THE HELL UP!" I screeched while keeping my face hidden.

The door opened and someone entered, pushing a chart that probably contained my breakfast.

"I was ordered to bring you breakfast. Eat it. Aizen-sama said you will need the energy for later."

_Gooooood morning to you too, Ulquiorra._

"I'm not hungry." That was actually true. I felt pretty sick, now that I focused on my physical state rather than my mental one. Which was also sick, but in a different way.

"Eat it."

I flinched at the extra tension in his voice, and made myself as compact as possible. "I'm not hungry" I muffled with my head between my knees.

"If you don't eat, I will force you to." And I remembered Ulquiorra threatening Inoue that he would shove the food down her throat if she didn't eat.

"Ok, ok, I'll eat, sorry." _Saying sorry like that… Disgusting. _

Ignoring the fact that I had to literally stuff the food down my throat and nearly choked myself to death several times, it was a nice breakfast. Still, there was something really wrong. Not with the breakfast, but a bad feeling like I was forgetting something crucial. It had been asking attention the whole morning.

_You're having a bad feeling while being held captive by Aizen flippin' Sousuke. How surprising. Maybe you even have paranormal powers! Or you're just mad. I mean, you ARE talking to yourself right now, and-_

"Now, come with me" said the Ulquiorra with a small hint of impatience. "Can't I, um, like, sort of, er… Like, make myself look a bit better?" I shyly asked, making sure my voice was soft and unsteady. I pointed at the obvious evidence that was my face.

He gave me a scanning look, and examined my face for a few seconds. "Very well. I will be waiting outside. Hurry up."

"Y-yes, thanks." _Thanks. You just said thanks to him. Miserable little-_

"I said, hurry up."

I hurried back to the mirror. The girl in front of me didn't look any better now. I started by washing my face, and then used a stunningly white towel to remove my get rid of my panda bear-from-hell-look. My eyes weren't so swollen anymore and seemed a bit brighter too. Altogether I was still creepily pale and with dark purple shades under my eyes, but hey, at least I wasn't sparkling.

_Great, now I've lost my good sense of humor too. A Twilight reference? I've gotten really low in such a short time span._

Then I walked out the door, wordlessly joined Ulquiorra and again crossed several billions of corridors. And arrived before, what a surprise, another unnecessarily big ass door. That opened itself, revealing, what a surprise again, that monster on his throne. Grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Oh, how I thirsted for landing a punch on those lips.

"Ah, Myrthe, there you are. You look a bit better, I'm happy." _Yeeeah sure. I look all healthy and happy now, do I? Arn't we all a freaking ray of sunshine today._

"Because I need you in good shape for today."

_Whoop dee flippin' doo._

"I am going to ask you a few questions, and I'd be pleased if you could answer them honestly."

I decided not to answer; After all, if it sounded too obedient, it was suspicious, and if it sounded too heroic, it would screw my whole act.

"But first, a little present from me." He smiled, and an unknown Arrancar entered at snap of his fingers. He carried a blue pillow, the kind you usually put crown jewels on. He actually bowed down for Aizen, offering him the pillow. Aizen's smile widened and he took something off the pillow. It shimmered a little, and its colour was, to my biggest surprise, white.

And then he suddenly stood behind me. I froze as he whispered 'Stay still' and lifted up my hair. I expected two hands that would strangle me to death any minute, but instead, it was only a silk ribbon with something cold attached to it. So I expected that within a few seconds someone would pull that ribbon and strangle me to death, but that didn't happen either. Instead, he secured it and stepped back. "Turn around, please."

I slowly did. The fabric brushed softly against my skin, and I had to resist my self from curiously touch it and check what was attached to it in the middle. Aizen smiled contently, like an artist who is examining his new magnum opus-to-be. _Do not punch, do not punch, do NOT punch…_

"As I predicted, it suits you perfectly. Here, take a look yourself" he took an elegant and beautifully crafted hand mirror from the pillow and handed it over. Of course, my curiosity was way too strong, so I looked. It was, how surprisingly, white. It fitted tightly around my throat, a bit like those chokers worn by Gothic Lolitas. It had little, pearl-like beads shaped like tears scattered on it, which were polished so much they seemed to glow. A pretty detail was that the shade of white perfectly matched with my pale skin and white dress. _Just gimme a crown and I'm the bride from hell.  
_The beads were pretty; however, they just vanished in the background compared to the one exactly in the middle. It was silver bell. Very pretty, and through the holes you see a soft, light blue radiation as if a wingless Navi was trapped within. Or a blue, shining, glowing sphere, for those who do not know what a Navi is.

It may have been pretty, but it still was a bell. _He just gave me a cat bell. Like a pet._

"Now now, don't tell me you don't like it?" Aizen must've seen my facial expression that may or may not have been very, very sour.

"Wh-why…" I made sure to stutter as natural as I could.

"Why did I give you this? Is it that strange for me to offer a friendly, well-meant gift?"

_Do not answer that question._

He smiled. "Alright, maybe this gift has a practical side to it too." _Really._

"Ulquiorra, if you would be so kind as to release about half of the pressure that you've have been holding back?" _Wait, what? _I expressed genuine panic on my face. I had already experienced I couldn't even take the slightest spiritual pressure. Let alone that from Espada no. 4. Ulquiorra meanwhile just nodded. I prepared for the giant impact that would come down on me.

Nothing happened. To me, that is. The Arrancar that just brought the blue pillow let out a scream, which was cut off halfway because it apparently lost its ability to breath and dissolved into the air. I watched it with horror paralyzing my whole being.

"Seems like it's working perfectly. As you've probably realized by now, this bell nullifies all spiritual pressure that would normally kill you." _That… is actually pretty practical, indeed. But it's still a cat bell. And I'm still not a cat._

My thoughts were quite rudely interrupted when a wail filled with rage rang through the space. Another Arrancar, seemingly a big brother or clone from the one that just died, came running into the room. He held a giant axe or something up and it was pretty obvious that he was planning on chopping a certain pig's head off.

Aizen smiled. In a second, he drew his sword and disarmed the thing with ease, then chopped off one of its legs. It went so fast that by the time I realized what the hell just happened, the leg and its previous owner were already lying on the ground, tragically separated. It growled like a mad dog, and from the gaping bloody hole grew two new legs. It didn't look very tasty.

_This is your moment. Use it._

And I started screaming as hysterical-but-not-too-hysterical as possible. I saw a sigh escape Ulquiorra's stoic face, so my helpless image was apparently still alive 'n kicking. Which was good. Very good. Though it didn't feel exactly fabulous. But neither was that three-legged thing that lunged at Aizen again. Who just smiled and flipped his blade upside down.  
I had trouble understanding what about the gesture gave me such a bad feeling. It looked scary, alright, but why did I get the feeling I was again forgetting something important?

"Crumble…"

And that's where I knew what shit was about to hit the fan._ O SHI- CLOSE YOUR EYES!_

"... Kyouga-Suigetsu."

I clapped my hands for my eyes, half because the command from my brains finally came through, and half because some unexpected light blinded me.

_Whatever you do, don't open your eyes. Stay calm, don't open your eyes. Just keep 'em nice and shut. _Afterwards, I remembered that that was unnecessary; there's no trouble seeing Kyouga Suigetsomething unsheathed. The problem was the unsheathing itself, which had already passed. But can you blame me for forgetting that in the current situation?

Anyway, it had one plus not seeing anything. The screaming alone was enough to scare the hell out of me as Aizen killed off the guy. Not being able to see it was actually a relief.

"You may open your eyes now, he's gone."

I slowly obeyed. There was no corpse. There was no a single drop of blood in sight. In fact, it was so clean and white, it was almost as if my hears had pulled a prank on me. I looked up to Aizen. _Look scared. Look scared like hell. It's not hard._

Aizen smiled. I have already been ranting on that smile for too long now, so I will shut up about it this time, and just tell that it made me want to punch him again. It also strengthened my so-called resolve. I even managed to partly ignore the Arrancar's death screams that kept echoeing through my head.  
The bastard smiled more contently than before. At the time, I thought it was because my scared face worked. I've always been a little naïve.

"I see you already know how my Zanpaktou works." I nodded as insecure as possible. "Well, I had considered using Kyouga Suigetsu as a way to get more information, but it seems that will not be possible."

_Small victory is mine!_

"Which leaves me no other choice but to use my other trump card." I did not like the sound of that. Several worst-case scenarios passed by, with one in particular that made my determination shudder. I tried to push it, but it kept recurring until Aizen spoke up again.

"Please know that I am truly sorry for having to do this…" _Yeah sure. Whatever the hell happens to me, you don't give a damn about it. Quit the act. _

"Ulquiorra, if you would be so kind to bring our other guest here?"

_Inoue is here? Already? Geez, the plot goes faster than expected. Maybe Ichigo and the others are already on their way too. Ichigo, and Renji, and Rukia, and Chad, and Ishida, and… and… and Kurosaki Ichigo, and Abarai Renji, and Kuchiki Rukia, and… Chad, and and Ishida Uryuu, and Kurosaki…_

You may have noticed a certain name shimmered in its absence. You may have noticed I was repeating names as if I had gone crazy and needed help. Well, no shit, Sherlock. It was both. I kept repeating the names like a mantra. Repeating names often helped when I tried to push a certain thought away. In this case… Well, if you haven't already figured it out by know, you can forget a career as detective, buddy.

_Of course it will be Inoue. Of course. Inoue Orihime. No one else. And Kurosaki Ichigo is on his way. And with him are Abarai Renji, and Kuchiki Rukia, and-_

"Ah, that was fast, as expected. May I welcome you here, in Las Noches?" Aizen spoke to someone who had just been brought in. Through a door behind me. So I had to turn around. Which I totally didn't want to.

Well, I didn't even need to. Because right before I could move a foot, someone called my name. Well, called was a big name. It probably was intended to be a call, but it sounded so soft and hoarse it was nearly a sob. And still, I understood it perfectly. It was not the only thing I perfectly understood.

_Impossible. _Instead of names, I now kept repeating this word. No, not repeat, I screamed it inside my head. I shouted it, I screeched, I yelled, I shrieked, I roared. It echoed, I could swear it echoed through my body so loud it caused the trembling. _Impossible._

All of this went in a couple of seconds. All the time, my back was still facing the source of the sound. And my eyes were still facing Aizen. Who looked back. And _smiled._

"Aren't you going to greet your friend?"  
"You better not, Myrthe. I am not looking as awesome as usual today."

_Impossible. No. Just no._

Finally I turned around, stiff like a robot. She gave me a grin, but even I could detect her nervousness. And the bruises. Still she was grinning. And she waved with her free hand. The other was caught in Ulquiorra's iron grip.

"Well, you've seen better days too, I see. So, how's life?"

I still couldn't answer. The voice had given me a blow, alright. But the sight gave the finishing kick under the belt. That, without a doubt, was Suzume.

* * *

**Me: AND THE PLOT THICKENS! DUN DUN DUN DUUUUUN *plays 5****th**** symphony of Beethoven completely off key***

**F!Myrthe: Oh, so you actually still do something about my story? After, I don't know, MONTHS OF HEARTLESS, COLD NEGLECTION? *raises a wrench***

**Me: Ehm, yeah, well, about that, I've been on vacation a lot, without access to Word and/or Internet, and there were friends I had to socialize with, and there was little inspiration, and the cat- *hit by wrench* **

**F!Myrthe: You better work out those 'superspecialawesome new ideas' of yours out quickly. And how the hell did Suzume get involved here?**

**Me: Yeeees… How did Suzume get here? Find out in the next chap- *hit by rotten banana***

**ALSO: Remember (probably not, considering how long ago it was ^^;) that in the prologue I wrote that this FIC isn't really a self-insert because the character is slightly different from me? As an argument I said that F!Myrthe will change later due to the circumstances. With 'change' I actually meant the resolve that is made *and sorta broken* in this chapter, but I couldn't spoil such things in the prologue, ne? The resolve is the exact point where Fanfic!Myrthe and Wannabewriter!Myrthe become two different persons. Because if I had been in the same situation... I'd probably had tried to kill myself out of despair or have an incurable mental breakdown.**

**Naww, kidding XD.**

**Or am I?**


	8. Deception

**Chapter 9: In which Aizen crosses several lines**

**Location: Great big hall somewhere in Las Noches**

**Copyright: Do I even need to write it?**

**Oh, and PS: I changed the title to Fanfictional Fugitive. Seemed to sum it up better.**

* * *

_Last time on Bleach: The Filler That Never Was:_

_Our not so heroic heroine made a resolve purely based on hatred, bloodlust and a rather disturbing amount of desire for revenge. This lasted for a couple of hours before Aizen revealed his ace, which conveniently turned out to be Suzume._

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE!"

She blinked, surprised at the outburst. Me screaming at people is very unusual. Me screaming twice at the same person that is a friend, is actually a first.

"YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WITH ICHIGO!" Somewhere in the back of my mind I registered I was being more than a little unfair, but I didn't really care about that part right now.

"Now, now. There's nothing to get upset about" Aizen said calmingly. I fully ignored him.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE! DO YOU HAVE ANY, _ANY IDEA_ WHAT SHIT IS GOING TO HIT THE FAN NOW?"

"I think I do" she replied dryly. "After all, I'm the hostage now, eh?"

At that moment, when she said that so inhumanly calm, I really want to punch her. Especially because she had said the exact word I wanted to keep away at all costs, including its consequences. _Hostage._

"Now now" Aizen soothed again, probably a little surprised at the murderous expression on my face. "Hostage is such a nasty word. If we all can come to a good agreement, we can just call you our well-loved guest."

"Good agreement" Suzume scowled with a sarcastic laugh. "You aren't seriously considering that, Myrthe? If you tell him the others are done for." _And don't forget yours truly._

"I request a little bit of information, that's all. Just cooperate and there's nothing to fear."

"Forgive me, but it's kinda odd you chose the word 'fear'" Suzume snarled.

I made the weirdest facial expressions at Suzume, trying to stop her from pissing him off. Aizen didn't seem to mind at all, though. A headache slowly started to box my ears.

"Now then" he turned to me "as a first, please tell me when I will be expecting our new guests. And please tell the truth- If I were to find out you were lying, things could get ugly for our dear guest."

_ . _

_This can't be happening._

The silence was killing me. My gaze swept back and forth from between Aizen and Suzume.

"Um, Myrthe, on second thought…" Suzume's voice seemed to tremble, which caught my attention. That and the shiny blade being held close to her throat.

"Well? When?"

_This CANNOT be happening._

"Myrthe…?"

_THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING._

My vision was getting a little blurry, and the headache increased. Possibly from stress, possibly from the intense hesitating.

Tell him? I knew that the consequences would be disastrous. But if I didn't, they would be disastrous as well- and not just for my conscience. It might seem unrealistic, how long I hesitated about the life of a friend against some information, but there was another factor on my scale. I simply refused the fact of helping Aizen any longer, especially now he had put me in this situation. My resolve might have been weakened, but my hatred had only increased further, making logical thinking, already not my best ability, nearly impossible.

"If you're going to wait any longer, I'm afraid I have to assume you're not going to tell me at all."

I heard a soft whine from Suzume's direction, but I didn't dare to look her in the eyes. Or actually, I felt like I shouldn't look her in the eyes- I lost the right to.

"This will be my last warning." A hint of annoyance was audible in Aizen's smooth voice.

"When will they arrive?"

"…"

_What can I do? What can I do? What should I do? What shouldn't- _

_ . _

A pained, panicked scream rudely interrupted my thoughts. Without quite realizing what just happened, I turned my head-

A second, even more panicked scream followed, though I couldn't remember my brain had directed that one.

It is hard to describe the scenery before my eyes. My memory of it keeps changing, one time making it all cloudy, as if my brain tries to forget it, and the next time it looks so macabre that it could only be my nightmare-version. The cold facts were that Suzume was on the ground, Ulquiorra was towering over her, his blade was stained red, and so was the ground around her.

My mind went blank. My voice went mad. My legs went towards her, until a soft hand landed on my shoulder and held me back with an iron grip.

"There, there. She's all but dead, nothing bad. Ulquiorra?"

The pale servant grabbed Suzume brown locks and pulled her up like a puppet, revealing that the blood had come from a cut in her upper right arm. It produced a lot of blood, but her eyes where still open- and burning.

"Let me go, freak!" She tried to hit Ulquiorra with her left arm. She actually hit him. I have told you that she does karate, and recently she also started with kickboxing. What I didn't tell you was that her specialty lies in breaking planks, sometimes with bare fists. So I was surprised that Ulquiorra let her hit him- though he didn't react to it at all. She might as well have punched a rock.

"Lemme go! Damnit!"

Actually, there followed a lot of other words, but I probably shouldn't repeat those.

"Thank you for your demonstration, Ulquiorra. Now, dear, please answer me a little faster. When will my guests arrive?"

"I think now's a good time to tell him…" Suzume's face was a strange twist of anger and fear.

"When?"

"He's gonna cut my other arm…"

"…"

"I am running out of patience…"

"Say the goddamn words!"

"They'll come a few days after you kidnapped Inoue!"

"Who?"

_Who?_

I was still shattered by the fact I had given in, and he just went on without a blink to who?

"Well? Are you going to make Suzume wait?" With this, Ulquiorra brought his sword closer to Suzume's left arm.

"No! don't cut-"

"THEN TELL ME ALREADY!"

.

It maybe isn't correct to use capitals since Aizen wasn't screaming, but it's the only way I can describe the impact he gave those words. His voice didn't really change at all, but still… Well, I can't really describe it at all. You may recognize it, such an icy command is sometimes used by really, really angry parents for example, or you may not, but the effect on me was completely bull's-eye.

"Kurosaki Ichigo!" I shrieked, only to realize that was the most obvious answer that could be given in this universe. _Kurosaki Ichigo is coming. No shit, Sherlock, nobody must've seen THAT one coming in the fan-freaking-tastic Bleach universe._

And then I finally came up with the idea to lie. Now I know all of you are thinking '_You idiot! He threatened to hurt your friend if you would lie!_' but I told you before: I wasn't thinking rationally anymore due to hatred and another problem I had yet to realize. This, together with Suzume's confident and courageous attitude, made me hot-brained and led me to saying:

"He will get here alone, but later on the entire Soul Society will be knocking at your door."

Of course, I shouldn't have used a metaphor- it directly gave away my overconfidence. Aizen raised an eyebrow.

"MYRTHE! Why are you lying to him!" Suzume suddenly exclaimed, nearly making me jump. She looked both scared and mad. "Do you forget about this here?" She made a cautious nod to Ulquiorra's shiny weapon. "You _want_ me dead?"

I resisted the urge to hit her -_why did she snitch?_- before I realized she was actually being the smart one here. Aizen pointed it out for me.

"There there, I'm sure our dear Myrthe didn't do that on purpose. After all, she knows what would happen if I were to find out she was lying?"

A bloody image unwillingly formed itself in my head.

"Of course she must've just slipped up, am I right?" he smirked at me again (_RAGE!_) and waited.

"Yes, yes! I mixed it up, sorry" I mumbled quickly, desperately trying replace the picture of Suzume's corpse with a vision of Aizen getting his ass handed over to him.

"Kurosaki will arrive together with Chad, and Ishida, and Rukia, and Renji."

_Lowly tattletale._

_ ._

"See? Now, that wasn't so hard was it?" Aizen smiled. And while he continued smiling, he made a gesture towards Ulquiorra.

A scream followed. And then another, this time from me. It was intended to sound like a big fat man-falling-off-a-cliff 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-' but the high pitch didn't exactly help the pronunciation.

"Ah, my apologies. I'm sure Ulquiorra didn't do that on purpose as well. Now then, let's continue."

~.~

Then, a lot of questions were asked. And a lot of answers were given. The blood and screaming had done their job wonderfully; I was numbed and replied automatically, like a robot. All my brain functions were switched off, except the memory parts. I guess it was a psychological thing; As long as I only thought about the answers, I wouldn't have to face the truth about what I was doing, what I was causing. I can't remember what the questions were, or what I answered; I guess that is a nice trick from my brain too, to ease the guilt.

Aizen probably asked about the battles, what would happen, who would face who, and the outcomes; as well weaknesses and strong points of my would-be saviours. Knowing Suzume would directly tell if I were lying, I couldn't lie. Though I doubt that I could've lied anyway, given the creepily zombie-like state I was in.

.

That was, until he asked about the battle between Renji, Ishida and the mad scientist dude that looked like a lady. It wasn't that I didn't want to answer (all I wanted was peace and quiet and a blanket over my head) but that I simply had forgotten what had happened there. I had just completely forgotten.

"I can't remember" I said. Aizen raised his eyebrow.

"I can't remember" I repeated, slightly panicked and confused. I wasn't used to really forgetting things like that. Sure, I forget important dates and names, and don't even get me started about phone numbers, but normal, useless information? Stuff like that usually stayed inside my head. Or at least a trace of it.

"Please try to remember."

"Um, I hate to agree with him, but please do" Suzume mumbled as well, eyes locked on Ulquiorra's sword.

My gaze kept getting a little bit blurrier, my head foggier. It was as if I was thinking in slow-motion, or more like panicking in slow-motion.

"I don't know!" I said, my voice a few octaves higher than usual.

"Don't be so obstructive now" Aizen said, adding an extra layer of menace in this voice.

_This can't be happening._ I switched back to my denial state of mind. _No. Not now._

"Myrthe?" Suzume squeaked, probably because of the approaching sword."

_I have to remember._

"Anyone home? Hurry up!"

_I can't have forgotten._

"I suggest you make a bit of a haste now, or I'm afraid things might get a bit ugly."

_No. No. Just no. No, no, no-_

"Myrthe!"

_Nononononononononononononono-_

"Just tell him! He's gonna kill me!" Suzume shrieked.

_-nonnonononononononono-_

"TELL HIM!"

"WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM!" I screeched back. I clutched my head, from pain and from helplessness.

"I can't do this! Why don't you just tell him!"

.

Right after I said that, it was as if someone had smacked me in the face. I froze in my rather melodramatic pose, as the unthinkable thought loudly presented itself in my head. It was as if a fog had cleared and just revealed an abyss I had been standing for.

.

_Why doesn't SHE tell him._

_Oh SHIT._

_ . _

"They will die" I said hoarsely. Aizen seemed a little surprised- and suspicious.

"Ishida and Renji" I basically choked out. "The crazy pinkhead kills them. With his secret thing."

"His secret thing?"

_Come on now. Moment of truth. Don't let yourself down now. THINK. _

"He has some sort of ultrasuperspecialawesome last form, even kept it secret from you" I mumbled, avoiding eye-contact.

"He turns into some sort of… octopus. A white octopus. And he uses some sort of technique… I didn't understand the details; it had something to do with a copy of the Hogyoku." I didn't dare to look at Suzume, afraid to give myself away. It remained silent.

"Let me guess, smart miss" Aizen said alarmingly friendly. _He saw right through me. Of course._

"You didn't tell me directly because of that Hogyoku-copy, did you?"

_Damn, he- wait, what? _I looked up, trying to hide my surprise and the slowly upcoming hurricane in my head. For the first time I looked at Suzume, but she only seemed to stare at the blade, not a single thing in her attitude showing what I hoped and feared for. She now looked back at me with that hurt expression, as if she knew I was betraying her again. _She knows. _I prepared to beg him to save her life once she would speak up, but instead-

"Why didn't you tell him directly!" she said, nearly hissed at me. "Why do you want me dead so badly!"

.

Another smack in my face. The proof. Why didn't she tell Aizen I was lying my ass off? Why hadn't she told Aizen herself in the first place? Why did she act so completely unlike herself? How could she possibly have fallen into Aizen's hands in the first place? And why didn't Aizen ask her the questions?

There could only be one answer, both relieving and absolutely gruesome.

_She isn't Suzume._

…

_THAT BASTARD._

_ . _

"She isn't Suzume" I said out loud, forcefully spitting each word out of my throat.

Aizen chuckled. "Excuse me?"

"She isn't… Suzume." This time it was less harder, and I somehow managed to look up right into his eyes. His face remained the same. He made some sort of gesture, then looked somewhere else. Following his gaze, I was just in time to see Suzume grin inhumanly at me before she vanished into ashes. Gone. I heard her laugh, twisted in a monstrous way, echo through the room before I looked back at Aizen, unable to produce a thought. Aizen just looked back.

And _smiled._

_ . _

Have you ever felt a sudden urge to lung at someone and kill him or her, without even thinking about eventual consequences? Ever wanted to see someone suffer so badly you'd doubt your mental health? Well, that urge took control of me now. Some people say it gives a red shade to everything you see, as if you are looking through red glasses. That's not true, those people have never been as madly enraged as I was. When you are on such a level of anger, you don't see red. Instead, the edges of your field of vision become black. A bit like the black bars around YouTube-videos, only more subtly shading into the visible part, like an ink frame around invisible glasses.

That frame now appeared around my sight, together with an increased head-ache, a strange sound boxing my ears, a now almost completely failing eyesight and a somehow familiar, overwhelming exhaustion. And then I completely _lost it_.

.

"YOU!" I screeched, unable to find anything else that could be a synonym to his despicable being. And I started running. I ran, my hands unconsciously turning into human claws, urging to dug the nails into his skin.I ran, barely unable to produce a sharp image of anything that wasn't Aizen. I ran, towards Aizen, ready to rip him to shreds and beyond, to bite, scratch, kick, punch, pinch, strangle, tug, pick out his eyes, tear every single hair out, break every single bone that was available, cut him to pieces, burn him, drown him, throw him off a cliff, bury him alive…

I ran faster than I ever had and ever will, tripping over probably my own feet in my haste, enclosing the gap within a few seconds, screaming like mad- and mad I was, in the most psychopathic way possible. Releasing another insane howl I lunged towards him, one hand stretched out and ready to claw his face.

"DIEEEEE-"

And I was held back, Ulquiorra's iron grip holding my arms on my back, keeping me in place despite my hellbent attempts to wriggle myself out of his grasp, to get to that contemptible existence in front of me, so close, so far. I kept screaming "DIE" to him through my huge sobs, my entire mind, for as far as I still possessed one, bent on killing him.

"Ulquiorra."

And just then I was free, and I stumbled and ran towards him, just about to hit him, not caring how he raised his hand, just wanting to hurt it-

And I flew back and landed harshly on the ground, my cheek burning, my tongue tasting blood and my teeth rattling. I tried look up, the world was spinning, my head felt as if it were to explode, everything was blurry, and most importantly, I suddenly realized I was completely exhausted. And with exhausted I mean that my eyelids felt too heavy to keep them up, so they kept falling down, and even then they were just too heavy to handle, and the white was burning in my head, and I just wanted a dark place, just dark, dark. And all these feelings and pains flowed together, creating one big sensation I suddenly recognized. A sensation that made me realize the cause of that uneasy feeling that had been haunting me for as long as I had been here. What I had been forgetting.

.

_I need my medicine._

_ ._

And then I fell asleep on the floor.

* * *

**Me: IT HAS BEEN FINISHED! HALLELUJAH!**

**F!Myrthe: *plays around with baseball bat* So, about the amount of time it took you...**

**Me: I... better go back to studying. Really. Like, now.**

**F!Myrthe: YOU CANNOT ESCAPE YOUR FATE! *Turns to the audience* And my apologies for my behaviour. It's just the writers fault for trying to copy her own miserably personality. Honestly, if I were in charge here, I'd have kicked Aizen's ass and had a full-fledged romance with Kurosaki Ichigo already. BEFORE BREAKFAST.**

**Me: *Peeks around corner* Suuuure -_-; *Turns to the audience as well* Also, a little explaining about the very last part: I need to take medicine everyday for my thyroid condition, and if I don't do that EVERY SINGLE EFFING DAY, I get trouble. The whole passing out thingy is based on a real occasion (minus the Aizen part) where we all discovered my disease after some drama at school (no worries, I didn't pass out there, I fell asleep AFTER I got home in my own cosy bed). The doctor told me that it might happen again if I don't take my pills, because the thyroidhormones might-**

***FALCON BASEBALL PUNCH***


	9. Phanphictional Philosophy

**Chapter 10: In which I use way too many references. **

**Location: My mind/the Center.**

**Copyright: My mind is mine. I hope. Never trust the governenment, kids!**

* * *

"… Aslan?"

_I must be tripping really badly right now._

Right in front of me stood a lion. A huge, friendly lion.

_I wonder what they put in my coffee this morning._

"You can just call me that, yes. Or Rumbleroar- If I'm not mistaken, you are also acquainted with the Very Potter Musicals."

_It just answered._

_It just TALKED._

_It's a LION. Who can TALK._

_I am TALKING with a LION._

"Oh God" I muttered, closing my eyes.

"Quite the stereotypical reaction, but I advise you not to waste any time now."

"I am talking with a lion" I said annoyed "while being in some sort of… nothingness…" I looked around- nothing but white fog.

"Yes. I thought I should go for the classic, you know" the lion answered, smiling. "White fog seemed a nice cliché."

"I accidently have come to hate white." The creature in front of me sighed. "This is going to be exactly as hard as I feared."

It looked up. "Maybe I shouldn't have taken on Aslan's shape after all. It just seemed like a nice pun, you know, since you came here through a wardrobe, and in Narnia-"

"Where the hell am I?"

"Well, that is a bit of a complicated question. For the moment, let's just assume this is happening in your head."

"So I am tripping."

"Yes and no. Not in the figurative meaning of the word, but you are taking a trip inside the Center- Ooh, tripping and a trip, I should write that one down, really" it muttered to itself.

I let out an obnoxious sigh, which seemed to catch his attention again.

"Right. You. Plot Guardian number two, Myrthe. Utterly blond. Hates slimy vegetables. Loves fruit and cake. Is a royal failure with any kind of videogame, but loves to play them anyways as long as they have a solid plot. Likes to blow bubbles under the shower. Cannot draw manga, but loves countless series. Thinks she's too good for Twilight but read the books anyways. Gets grumpy if she can't read her newspaper in peace in the morning-

"Yeah, it's about me. I get the point" I interrupted. "I don't really wanna know how you got to know those things."

The lion smiled- I backed away further at the sight of his teeth. It seemed to realize this.

"Maybe this isn't the best shape after all. Just hang on a minute." It seemed to think. And then suddenly I stood eye to eye with Urahara Kisuke.

_Blink. What the hell. _At that point, I decided it was best to just go with the flow before I would turn utterly mad._ I'm tripping anyway; let's just see where this brings me._

"There. I hope this seems less intimidating?" Urahara asked.

"Better, yes" I murmured back.

"Good. This character is often involved when the plot is explained, so I thought it would make more sense if I looked like him."

I nodded.

"So, I figured I should explain where we are and what I am first."

I nodded.

"How talkative. Well then. You, my dear, are in the Center." The way he said it made it sound as if I was on the most exclusive place in the world.

So I nodded. He seemed to be a little taken aback with that.

"Um, right. You have absolutely not idea what the Center is, right? Of course you don't, you have no idea what is happening in the first place, what the hell am I thinking?" The last part was more directed at himself than at me. He took a deep breath.

"Let's see, how should I explain this… Right. Let's say, that you are a bit like April Ryan from The Longest Journey and Sora from Kingdom Hearts, and I'm a bit like Yuuko from XXXHolic and the Composer from The World Ends With You, and the place we are now is a bit like where Truth resided from Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and where Harry Potter had his last conversation with Dumbledore. Get it?"

I nodded.

"You don't get it at all, do you?"

I nodded.

"And I tried so hard using stories you knew of!" He sighed. "Right. Forget what I said. Reboot- I'm just telling you the facts, whether you can follow it or not."

_Prepare for crapstory._

"First fact: The place where you lived, your home, 'your' Earth, is your world. The place you are now is a different world- you'd say it would be the so-called Bleach universe.

Fact Two: Just because you considered Bleach fiction, doesn't mean this is any less real than your own world. I know it'll take time for you to accept this fact completely, since your head easily starts to hurt when you start philosophizing- and don't give me that look, sweetplum, I know everything of you.

Moving along to Fact 3: These two worlds you know of aren't the only ones out there. There are millions, gazillions, infinite other worlds, just as real as your own- just think of Kingdom Hearts, I believe that concept is kind of similar."

"So all the other world are from Disney?"

He sighed again. "Well cupcake, I expected are more intelligent answer from you. Does this world look like Disney?"

_Bounce-head-against-wall-urges rising…_

"I know you like Disney, but it's only one percent relevant. You see, here comes Fact 4: All these worlds are stories."

I took some time trying to figure that out.

_I give up._

"Stories?"

"Stories, blueberry. Stories. The moment a story is told, the fictional world in which this story takes place becomes a real one, like a new star in the universe is made- how that star is made is up to other stories. There is molecular gas; there is the smile of an infant; the wish of an innocent soul-"

"But that number is, like, INFINITE!"

"And with that I refer to Fact 3: There are millions and gazillions of other stories out there." He looked at me. "If I were you, I wouldn't think too deep about this matter. It's painful. For your head. Just try to accept this, like one and one is two."

I nodded.

"Well. All those stories, all those worlds co-exist. Just try to imagine all of them together like all the stars in the sky, each shining their own light alone. But even stars are bound by laws- in your world; it would be the laws of physics. And that is where I come in."

_Because it wasn't confusing enough already._

"You see, these laws, though very few in number and quite flexible, must be maintained no matter what, and that is my task."

"Which is why you compared yourself to Yuuko from XXXHolic."

"Right. Right! You seem to catch the drift."

"Which means that you are basically in charge of what happens in stories-"

"Correction, _with_ stories-"

"-so you're the one who got me into this mess."

_Phew. Finally got that out of my system._

He seemed surprised, but smiled reassuringly.

"I am sorry. I should have explained that part earlier."

_Any more explanation and my head will explode, thank you._

"The one responsible for you ending up here is Aizen Sousuke."

I couldn't hold down the cold shiver that name sent through my body.

_That is just awesome. Even his name is stronger than me._

"To explain you correctly how he did it would take far too much time and would, regarding your intellectual capacities, be an impossible task anyway, so please forgive me if I just state the obvious: He caused something like a disorder in… Well, for the sake of understandable clichés, the space-and-time-continuum. Yeah. Let's keep that name."

_I still don't really get it. At all._

"I wasn't finished, pudding. See, causing a disorder isn't the right word. It's more like he consciously forced an error. An error that caused two worlds to overlap- guess three times which two."

"So… If I summarize this well: There is an infinity of worlds, each world being a story, each story co-existing next to the others without overlapping, and you're in charge of preventing that, and Aizen screwed that up causing his world and my world to overlap." I had to take a deep breath afterwards.

He smiled approvingly.

"I could have said it much better, but yes, you seem to grasp the essence."

"Then there is one, tiiiiiny little thingy I don't get."

"Ask away, I'd say!"

"What, pray tell WHAT, does this have to do with ME?"

"I had hoped our conversation had ended before this question, but it seems something is keeping your artificially asleep."  
"Well?"

He sighed.

"Well. I'm going to put this as simple as I can. I told you before, Aizen caused a disruption in the space-and-time-continuum" he grinned. "Listen to me. Spewing clichés like a brought to life Hollywood. Anyway, this 'disruption' caused…" He seemed to ponder for a moment. "It caused… Well, that'll be a bit too hard to explain after all. Let's assume it caused something, which led to some sort of 'hole'."

"A hole in what?"

"A hole in the thing that keeps your world and this one apart. See, your world is connected to the 'Bleach Universe' because it is known in yours as 'Bleach'. But it is getting too complicating again, if I read your face right. Just accept that if in one world a story is known, told or created, these two stories will be connected. Like yours and Bleach."

"I'm getting a headache."

"You asked for it. Literally. Ha! I'm on a ROLL, people!"

When he met my not-so-impressed gaze, he quickly went back to his solemn voice.

"I'm getting a headache too. Well, to make things short, this hole was extremely dangerous to the precious order I must keep, so I had to take measures."

"And by 'measures' you mean sending a powerless, helpless and mentally vulnerable little human girl to a world ruled by people with giant swords, unrealistic amounts of invisible power and uncanny intelligence?"

"You should add 'short-fused and unnecessarily cynic' to the characteristics. Just saying."

I tried my best at lifting just one eyebrow, but I probably ended up looking ridiculous.

"Listen, cherry pie, I think you are under the impression that I chose you. Which is a wrong impression. You are not chosen; and you ending up here is purely bad luck."

_Bad luck. You are calling my situation BAD LUCK. That must be the greatest understatement since… Well, I'll think up a witty internetmeme-reference for that later. Just give him the epic fail death stare._

"Ok, I probably should have paraphrased that better, but the essence is the same. You're not chosen one, you weren't really sent here on a mission. You and your friend were just the first two that met the right conditions for being sucked into this world through the earlier mentioned hole."

"The right conditions?"

"Oh, they're not very specific conditions. The first two people who had knowledge of Bleach, passed through a door while imagining things would be sent here."

"Alright, the first one makes sense…"

"But the other two conditions must have been made on drugs?"

"Y-yeah."

"Ah, but carrot, see, even this space-continuum-thing has some clichés- clichés that have become clichés because of their frequent existence. A frequent existence in stories, a frequency that can only be created when based on a core of truth. Doors, chocolate-chip, the universal signs for travel, for crossing borders, for change, are and will be the only way to cross a world- it doesn't matter in what shape the door is. And imagination, I believe you can figure that out quite easily. The entity of all is an infinite number of stories. And stories live and die through imagination. So, let's put the three key points together: knowledge, travel and imagination, and connect them to the very moment you and Suzume opened your wardrobe. At that very point, you met the three conditions: You opened a door, you had just watched Bleach so your knowledge was still fresh, and at least one of you must have imagined secretly that something really WOULD happen once you stepped inside. And then you tumbled down the rabbit hole and fell flat on your face here. I've seen countless entrances, but yours wasn't that bad."

"Right."

"So, does that answer your question?"

"I… I guess. But now what?"

"Now what?" Now what what?" I swear I saw a sneaky little spark from beneath the hat.

I grumbled. "Now what? Now what? What do you think I want to know? HOW DO I GET HOME?"

"I'd say you just follow the yellow road to the Emerald City- Oh pardon me." Clearly, I wasn't in the mood for references to any fiction at all. Not even the Wizard of Oz. And I showed that.

"Well?"

"Um, yeah, the returning part. About that. You see… Oh! But look at the time! You're about to wake up! I should leave!"

Suddenly, the white fog around me started to swirl around violently, effectively hiding Urahara from my sight.

"Wait! How do I get home? Get back! What am I supposed to do! Where are you? What happens to everyone back home? COME BACK HERE! ASSHOLE! ASS-"

* * *

_ASSHOLE._

My last thought returned as my first thought when I opened my eyes again. Followed by the thought _MY HEAD HURTS. SO MUCH. _And then a couple words that aren't very suitable for repetition.

_Why does everything here have to be damn white? _It burned into my eyes, actually more like through my eyes and directly piercing my brain. _Stupid ceiling. Stupid lamps shining in my face. Stupid silver reflecting light in my eyes-_

_Wait. Lamps? Silver?_

With some effort, I looked up and slowly looked around.

_Please tell me I've woken up in a hospital for humans. _Suddenly a ray of hope struck me and paralyzed me with cautious joy. I was in a hospital! Everything that had happened to me had been nothing but one big dream, a nightmare, probably forced on to me by excessive use of morphine and a long, long coma. I secretly hoped I had been in a coma from a terrible and tragical accident that I barely survived… Or no, much better, I got in the hospital because I did something incredible heroic and apparently incredibly dangerous, and everyone besides me knew how amazing I was. Ok, given, I already knew I was amazing, but not everyone agreed. Until now. Oh, the joy people would have when they would find out I was awake! Not to mention, I must've gotten a gazillion presents from all over the country, no, all over the freaking _world_ from my admirers, and also maybe a medal of honor, yes, that would be most fitting-

"So, you've finally woken up."

_FUCK._

That was most definitely not the friendly voice of a friendly doctor. That was the sickening sound of the pink-haired mad scientist that took the word 'fabulous' to a different and creepy level. Szayel Apollo Grantz.

And then he quite bluntly shoved into my sight by bending over me, his pink hair almost tickling my nose. With a fair amount of willpower I could keep myself from screaming.

"Verona, contact Aizen. You, get up."

I did. Faster than I should, because the world start to shift unnaturally and my headache temporarily increased. I groaned.

"So it's true what they say about your lack of any physical stamina. Not to mention the lack of _mental_ stamina" he mused to himself, not explicitly trying to lower his voice.

"Why am I here?" I squeaked. I did NOT like hospitals. At all. And this looked far too much like it.

Fancyface turned and gave me a scornful look.

"You are here" he said slowly, as if talking to a not-so-intelligent 2-year-old, "because a few hours ago, you collapsed due to an excess in thyroid hormones in your blood because apparently, you had a thyroid condition you kept from us. That and a lot of stress."

"I get that" I snapped back, "but why am I _here_?" I gestured towards the object I was laying on, an object that resembled an operation table a bit too much for comfort.

"Oh that" he answered casually. "That was just for some direct research surgery. I have to say, you are _very_ disappointing. Not a single thing in your body piqued my interest, besides your unusual brain activity during your narcosis. I expected more from someone who comes from a different universe. Not even a-"

"You did RESEARCH on ME while I was ASLEEP?" I squeaked.

He didn't seem to understand my point.

"Yes, and as I stated before, it was very disappoint-"

And that is were I got up fully and ran out of the room. For a full distance of approximately 5 meters, before someone grabbed my hair and pulled me back. I stumbled backwards, lost my balance and fell to the ground, my scalp burning while the same person held my hair upwards.

"Ugh, now I'll need to change my gloves again. Just stay put until Lord Aizen shows up, human."

"There will be no need for waiting, my dear Grantz" answered an awful voice suddenly, and my hair was freed immediately.

This time, when I looked that loathed man in the eyes, I did not scream or worse. I just stood there seemingly frozen, my hands forming fists again without even bothering to ask my brain, urging to hit him again.

"Is it that hard to smile for you?" Aizen asked bemused.

"Well, if you excuse me, Lord Aizen, I'll go back to my _important_ tasks" and with that the mad scientist made a flawless pirouette and hop-scotched back to his lab. _Such grace._

"Please, have a walk with me" Aizen said, offering me his arm in an outrageously old-fashioned manner. When I didn't accept it and backed away instead, he didn't seem to be bothered at all. Instead, he just took my arm in an iron grip and forced me to walk along the great white hall.  
"You know, we never finished our interesting talk before you took your little nap."

I wanted to stop mid-walk dramatically, but I just got dragged along and stumbled forth, my expression showing clearly how much I disliked that statement.

We just strolled along quietly for a while, my tension rising with every step we took. I had no idea what he was up to; but it wouldn't be good. Also, I slowly started to remember all the crazy stuff that had happened either in my head or at a divine Center or whatever the hell it was called.

"So, before you passed out, we were discussing how your friends would be doing when they would arrive here."

_DO NOT WANT._

"See, I don't like being lied to. You have gravely hurt my feelings."

_Well excuuu-uuuu-uuse, me, pri-_

Suddenly, his grasp tightened around my arm, forcing me to stop, to turn, and to look him in the eyes. Really creepy, polite, psychotic, friendly and murderous eyes.

"I _really_ don't like being lied to. But if it happens, I will not hesitate to lie back myself. Please remember that."

And he vanished

And I just stood there, unable to stop myself from trembling again. After a while, I just kind of fell on my knees, rather overdramatically. I just needed to sit. There was just happening too much. Well, there _had_ happened too much- it seemed so empty around me now. Quiet. As if something really bad was about to happen.

And then I heard foosteps. A whole lot of them.

_Well, how unsurprisingly conveniently predictable._

* * *

**F!Myrthe: WHOA! WAY BACK! I'M STILL ALIVE****?**

**Me: Um...**

**F!Myrthe: Cause I thought that after that century of nothingness, I had died along with this story!**

**Me: yeah, for the lateness, sorry-**

***The rest of the apology could not be written because the author was chased after by a fictional character steering an imaginary tank***

**So! It took so long because I suck at making up philosophical stuff. But, in return: I already have a lot of stuff ready for the next chapter, hell, already a lot of pages written, so it won't take long! And it is going to be over-the-top-dramatic, as always. Because me can't write 8D**

**Have a nice day!**

* * *

***~OPINION WHORE SECTION~***

**Welcome to the Opinion Whore section! Here I ask YOUR opnion about something I'm too stupid to decide for myself. And the topic the the chapter is: Weapon. Should F!Myrthe get some sort of weapon?**

**See, I'm don't know about you guys, but I'm getting a bit tired of F!Myrthe (And Real!Myrthe, but let's skip the Freudian bullshit here XD) being so utterly helpless. I mean, she was designed to represent the caught-up civillian, and I wanted to use her complete lack of anything close to power as a primary factor for character definition. However, the situation is getting repetitive with her getting her ass handed over by literally everyone. Not to mention, since she can't fight, it means that pretty much all she can do is talk, which leads to the excessive amount of crappy dialogue. **

**On the other side: Randomly throwing in a weapon feels so... I dunno, Mary-Sueish. And not very F!Myrthe...ish. And it kind of kills her whole character of defenseless no-good. So, your opinions plz!**


	10. Toils And Treachery

**Chapter 10.5: In which help arrives in an unwanted way**

**Location: Same old corridor as last chapter**

**Copyright: Those who have the copyright of Bleach.**

* * *

"Myrthe?"

_No way._

I just sat there, speechless, motionless, senseless.

_No way._

In all of my despair, I hadn't even dreamt this could be possible. But it was. Right in front of me stood the entire rescue squad and a few additions; Ichigo and his gang, several other Shinigami (Toushiro!) and, most importantly-

"Suzume!"

She was there. She was alive. She seemed unharmed, but with some badass Shinigami clothes on. She seemed just as shocked as I was.

_Suzume. Thank heavens._

At that point, I was so overwhelmed with happiness en relief that once again, I couldn't think rationally anymore. Instead, while I sobbed from joy, I dashed forward and without much thinking hugged her tightly.

"Suzume" I sobbed again. It wasn't just that I was so goddamn happy to see her. Sure, I was glad she was ok. But I hadn't really changed, and my own hide still mattered more to me. My own hide, which just had been saved. I had found the comrades. They would protect me.

_I am safe._

While being so overly happy, I somehow still noticed that Suzume hadn't hugged me back. She seemed uncomfortable, even- uncomfortable, while her kidnapped friend had just been found, alive!

It started to get awkward, hugging someone who doesn't hug you back, let alone stays eerily quiet. So I let go, still feeling very awkward.

_So much for a tearjearkingly happy reunion. Jeez._

When I had let go of her, I stepped back to look her in the face, curious why she reacted so undercooked.

_That is not the happy face I expected. _She didn't seem happy to see me at all. She didn't smile, or looked something even close to being relieved or happy. Not at all. Instead, her face was twisted in a mixture of pain, sorrow- and if I had to trust my eyes, something like regret.

I backed off, looking around me. Nobody looked happy. No one smiled, seemed happy to see me. They all wore the same expression as Suzume. Some seemed to have a less regretful and more determined look, but the overall atmosphere was very, very uncomfortable.

"Um, is… something… wrong…?" It was so creepily quiet, I almost whispered. No one answered, the glaring just continued.

_Why am I getting the feeling someone either died or is going to die?  
_I was surprised at the last bit of that thought. It just kind of popped up unexpectedly, almost subconsciously. Maybe it was because of all the dark looks. Everyone stayed quiet.

My voice rose.

"Suus? What's going on here?"

Suzume looked to the ground. She didn't reply. The silence seemed to strangle me with invisible hands.

"Suus?"

Her lips mumbled something; she still refused to look me in the eyes. If I hadn't stood so close, I wouldn't have heard what she said. But I did hear the words. Though I stopped at the hearing part, not knowing how to process them.

"I'm sorry."

_OH SHIT. O SHIT O SHIT O SHIT-_

Swears and alarm bells made quite the noise inside my head. The rest of me was rendered motionless.

Hitsugaya Toushiro cleared his throat, and stepped forward. Even he seemed to avoid my gaze. "A direct order from Supreme Commander Yamamoto-sama. The apprehension and execution of Myrthe, resident of the different world, accused and found guilty of treason of Soul Society and transmission of crucial and confidental information to first class criminal Aizen Sousuke."

"WHAT?" I choked out.  
"WHAT?" A little louder.  
"You're kidding me" I said, already knowing that they weren't the type of people to joke around. I looked around, shocked, trying to address each one of them. Ichigo. Rukia. Renji. Ishida. Chad. Inoue. Hitsugaya Toushiro. They all looked somewhere else, avoiding eye contact. None of them seemed too happy.  
"Suzume, they're kidding, right?" I pleaded, not knowing how this situation could be prevented. The swears and alarm bells in my head kept swearing and ringing louder and louder in my head. I backed off a little.  
"I'm on your side!"

Suzume didn't answer.

"On our side!" Histugaya sneered. "Didn't you just listen? You gave him all of our secrets! It's a miracle we're still alive! He knows all of our strengths and weaknesses, our tactics! On our side? You're nothing but a traitor!"

I backed off again. _If you say it like that… It actually makes sense._

The tension grew even tenser. Hitsugaya's words seemed to trigger the darker sentiments of the others too.

"He is right, thanks to the tips you've given him, he managed to set all kinds of traps, custom made to take advantage of our weaknesses." Four-eyes pushed up his glasses, before giving me a cold stare. "Indeed, you are nothing but a traitor."

_This can't be happening._

They were supposed to save me. To feel sorry for what I had been through, to promise to protect me with their lives, to do everything they could to bring me back home. Not indicating an execution.

"Suzume!" I didn't know who else I could turn to. "You should know! All of you should know!" I made a wide gesture. "That man is a monster! Suzume!" Still no reaction. "You should know! I would never tell him everything just like that! He forced me! He tricked me!" Images from Suzume's bloody body and Aizen's grin started to pop up again, images so vivid I felt my eyes sting. I wanted to tell them what he had done, what he had made me think, what he had made me see. But those images had to get out of my head at all costs right now or I would start crying, and talking about them would not be helpful.

"You should know!" I repeated desperately.

Suzume muttered again. This time even I couldn't hear it, and she seemed to realize this. She mumbled again, a bit louder.

"I know."

Somehow, the whole looking away thing got me angry.  
"Good! Wonderful! Fan-_fucking_-tastic! You know! Then what THE HELL is this?" 'This' not really meaning anything in particular. Probably the whole situation.

"We believe that you weren't intending from the beginning to tell him, but the fact remains you did. The fact remains you betrayed us."

_They can't just kill me on that._ My brain was in overdrive, frantically searching for a way to convince them not to kill me. The facts were against me; if we looked at facts alone, I had betrayed them. I had to find an argument elsewhere. Somewhere else, where facts didn't count. _Let's play them heartstrings. _

"Wow. Just wow." I put up my hands to put extra emphasis on how ridiculous this seemed to me. "Wonderful. I got practically abused here, tried my very best to resist that monster, and as a reward I will get murdered. Really. Superspecialawesome."

No one reacted.

"You know" I went on "maybe Soul Society has gotten that low, I can understand that." I looked at Hitsugaya, who seemed torn between anger and his unnaturally mature sense of justice.  
"Yeah, Soul Society never really gave a crap about the circumstances of the individual that did something wrong. Right, Kuchiki?" I addressed the shrimp shortly, not allowing her to react before I went on.  
"Yeah, I can understand that you Society Shinigami would just do whatever the high-ups say without questioning if it had a bit of justice in it, like a pack of faithful, bloodthirsty dogs." _Renji, I'm looking at you. Literally. _It seemed that the dog-comparison hit home for a bit.

"But what I can't understand, is that you four agree with this" I turned my gaze to the remaining four. "You always fought for what you thought was right, regardless of what others said, regardless of orders. And you're going to tell me that you see killing an unarmed, helpless victim as right? That suddenly you no longer care about protecting those who need protection? That you-"

"Enough!" Ishida seemed close to furious. "You think we are happy with this? You think we really care about what Soul Society says?"

I was too scared to answer.

"Have you ever, _ever_ in your pity-partying mind considered that to us, you are nothing but an extremely dangerous, unstable and unreliable factor?"

I was too surprised to answer.

"You possess information that might decide the outcome of this war. If this were chess, your value would equal that of a queen." Somewhere I felt a little spark of misplaced pride in these words. _Nothing like feeling incredibly important._

"But, while your value is that of a queen, your lack of any skills, defensive and attack alike, make you less than a pawn."_ Ouch._

He seemed to get angrier as he spoke on, but by this time I was really, really scared of the guy. I couldn't have stopped his rant if I wanted to. As he gave me another angry look and paused to breathe, I suddenly realized. _He doesn't want this at all. _He wasn't really angry about my whining. He was frustrated by what they were about to do, and tried his best to talk it right, to convince himself. _Maybe not even that. Maybe he doesn't need to talk it right. I think I know where this is going._

_I don't like where this is going._

"Do you understand? You might make or break victory, while at the same time you're an extremely easy prey for whoever needs your knowledge. You will need to be guarded at all times, slowing us down, constantly be in the way, constantly distracting us, constantly drawing attention, constantly needing attention, constantly posing a huge threat for us all. And in return, you have nothing to offer except more danger. You are only trouble. You're not needed. You are a burden and a tremendous risk that should not exist."

His reasoning seemed to cheer up the others as well. Ok, cheered up might not be the best choice of words, but it effectively ended their lack of resolve.

"None of us are happy with this, but if it's either you or the world…"

"We don't like it, but sacrifices must be made…"

"I'm sure you understand…"

"Please forgive us…"

"I'm sorry."

Swords rose again, an arrow was aimed, a fist reached up, I backed down. Ishida once again was the first person to make a move. He aimed again.

It didn't happen in slow-motion. At all. There was no such thing as slowed down movements; instead, everything seemed to go faster than normal. I heard a 'zing'-y sound and without thinking, I just turned around and ran in the opposite direction of the archer. For a whopping amount of one second, I ran away. Then several swords appeared in front of me accompanied by several dark figures. I couldn't see who was who, as my entire mind was focused on the blades pointed at me. I don't know which blade belonged to who, I don't know who raised the particular sword that suddenly went towards me; there was just an overhyped instinct screaming that I had to _MOVE TO THE LEFT _and that suddenly there was _PAIN _and that there was another sword and more _PAIN _and that I needed to _RUN RUN RUN _somewhere while the _PAIN _wouldn't stop and that I made a hella lot of noise and that the blades and shadows disappeared and that right beside me there was an explosion and after that there was more _PAIN _and I was so scared and that I couldn't stop thinking but I just had to _GET OUT AND RUN. _

I panicked. No matter how hard I try, all I remember now are random shouts, flailing black fabric, silver, explosions and pain, all mixed together in a chaos that left me no space for even the slightest non-instinctual thought. Everything was one big gruesome blur. Until-

Until-

Until-

"GETSUGA TENSHOU!"

* * *

**F!Myrthe: And we end with another completely uncalled for cliff-hanger to piss off your scarce readers!**

**Me: Did I mention I'm not a nice person?**

**F!Myrthe: What is UP with this chapter? It's completely implausible on so many levels! Like the OO-**

**Me: Believe me, for once I have solid reason for pretty much everything that may seem strange in this chapter.**

**F!Myrthe: Suuuuuuuuuure. What's up with the ridiculous shortness of this pathetic excuse for a chapter anyway?**

**Me: Well, This was originally just a part of the next chapter, but that chapter got too long if this was included. So I just separated this as chapter 10.5 to heighten the suspense.**

**F!Myrthe: Suspense? What suspense? You already killed Willing Suspense of Disbelief when you wrote the first words of this story, and the rest of the suspense died when the first sentence was done!**

**Me: Keep on doing what you do and I will reconsider my idea to create weapons for you.**

**F!Myrthe: SPOILER ALERT!**

* * *

**~*~Opinion Whore Section~*~**

**So, I read this story all over again a while ago.**

**HOLY SHIT IT SUCKS. SERIOUSLY. I read and I was ashamed of myself. How could I ever have been proud on this story? The beginning sucks majorly. I'm confident that if someone else had written this and I had stumbled upon this story and read chapter 1, I would've run away screaming. Dear God… The horrible dialogue, the lack of action, the hair-raising grammar, the unbelievably lame puns, the unbearably slow pace, the terrible humour, the dreadful portrayal of the canon characters, the dreadful portrayal of the original characters… I could go on and on and on. **

**But before I do that: which chapter needs rewriting the most? Chapter 1 and two are in my opinion the worst, but hell, this is the Opinion Whore section, where I ask YOU things I'm too stupid to decide for myself!**


	11. Bloody Hell

**Chapter 11: In which I receive unwanted character development.**

**Location: A part of my mind that resembles the church of Midgar**

**Copyright: Tite Kubo, Squeeeee-nix.**

* * *

…

…

"Myrthe?"

…

…

"Myrthe?"

…

…

"It was just an illusion, Myrthe. It's alright now. It will be alright now. It was not real."

Slowly, I became aware that two hands had been resting at my shoulders for a couple of minutes now. A nice voice had been speaking to me, a friendly, familiar one. A very familiar one.

"It's ok."

I slowly became aware that all this time, I had been keeping my eyes shut as tightly as possible.

"Everything is fine."

I slowly, very slowly, relaxed m eyelids. A bit of light peeked through. It seemed not only to peek through my black sight, but to switch on a little light inside my head as well. As if I woke up. I became aware of the grass that tickled my ankles. The cool breeze blowing in my face. The priceless feeling of sunshine on your bare skin. The fact that I seemed to be sitting on my butt in the grass, all slumped over like a smashed bag of potatoes with too much sense for gravity. The stickiness of my hands. Now that I mentioned it to myself, there seemed to be a lot of stickiness of my face as well, even on skin that felt like it was covered by cloth.

_Stickiness?_

I opened my eyes a little more, curious what the sticky stuff could be. Even more light peeked through my eyes. Shapes slowly found their way into my brain, no more sharp than the blurbs on a photo taken by a hyperactive badger. A lot of white _(O rly?)_ and a different, darker something. It was all very blurry, but as it became sharper, I decided to look at my hands why they felt so wet and sticky. I held them before my face, in the bright sunlight.

My hands were covered in blood.

_Blood. _

_BLOOD. _

_BLOOD! _

My hands became blurry shapes again, the dark, dark red shifting in my sight. They trembled. A single drop of blood got away from the rest and, with an impeccable instinct for drama, slowly slid down from my upheld hand, until gravity grasped it and pulled it from my wrist. It fell on my left knee. It joined the dark shapes that turned out to be bloodspots as well. Suddenly, all I could see were bloodspots. On my knees, the whole way down my dress, the whole way up my dress, I saw red stickiness ruining the strands of hair hanging in my eyes, I realized that stickiness on my face couldn't be anything else but-

I instinctively covered my eyes with my hands, but the feeling of the stained hands and the feeling of fresh, wet fluid against my face only made the panic worse. Adrenalin shot through my body, I was paralyzed, all I could think was-

BLOOD, everything sullied with blood, red on silver, red on black clothes, red on white clothes, red on white walls, the white floor, red gushing through the air, cries, a scarlet-spotted scenery, a panic that felt like the colour red itself, fear, unthinkable wetness on my hands, splatters on my face, I didn't want to do it, couldn't-

"Hush now, hush now, you're safe, it didn't happen."

I was being hugged gently. Only at that moment I realized that while I was having a very nasty flashback, I had been screaming for probably en entire minute, a high, off-key wail ripped to pieces with short sobs. I could feel how some tears mixed with the splatters on my cheeks. They tickled my face as they went down.

"It was just an illusion."

I finally looked to the direction the sweet voice came from. A young woman whose entire appearance screamed 'friendly' and 'harmless' smiled reassuringly back, squatting in front of me and holding her hands on my shoulders as if she could stop them from trembling by touch. She had a kind-looking face, wore a very cute pink dress that matched with the even more cute ribbon in her auburn braid. She had a striking similarity with a familiar character.

"… Aerith?"

She smiled again.

"Alas, it's the weird thing inside your head, I'm afraid."

_I should've known it._

"I searched for a character you associate with harmlessness and comfort. First, I wanted to take on the form of your mother, then your little brother, but I figured you'd probably just freak out."  
She (_for the sake of my sanity, let's pretend/assume it's a she)_ was right; I probably would've lost what little sanity I had left if I would find my real family inside a screwed up different universe consisting of what I thought to be fiction.

"It's ok now" she repeated reassuringly. "It's ok. It's alright. It wasn't real. It did not happen."

I desperately wanted to believe her, so desperately, I really did believe for moment that it had been another sick trick, not real, out of thin air, but the evidence dripping off my hands smashed the hope to a million scarlet pieces.

"It was an illusion, Myrthe."

"Then why" my voice rose as I couldn't control my panic "am I s-still cov-covered in b-BLOOD?" Saying it out loud didn't calm me at all. In fact, it somehow managed to panic me more. As if it hadn't existed until I spoke the word out. Blood. As if I had summoned the stuff myself with a curse. I was still covered in red fluid. Fluid that should have disappeared the second I had appeared here, if it had been an illusion. My hands started to trembles even harder.

Aerith let go of my shoulders and stood up. She had a very realistic, pitying look in her eyes. "Somehow, he got real blood on you for maximum psychological damage." She paused to watch me tremble and cry and mutter how I hadn't wanted to and hug myself in a most pathetic way.  
"Seems like it worked pretty well."

"I didn't want to."

"For the hundredth time, it was an illusion."

"I didn't want to."

"Stop rocking back and forth like a stereotypical trauma victim."

"I didn't want to."

"Stop it!"

"I didn't-"

SLAP.

"To think I had to use such an overused trope to get you back to your senses." That was no longer Aerith' voice. That was another awfully familiar voice. Lady Yoruichi towered over me, her cat-like eyes ablaze with feline annoyance. My cheek burned.

"You are going to listen to me very, very carefully" she said with a deep but bossy voice "I pity you for what happened. It was a dirty trick. But you have got to get yourself together. You can't break down like that because of an event that didn't even take place."

_Didn't even take place._

I started to laugh. This was just fucking insane. I was fucking insane, SHE was fucking insane, I was insane, I was insane, I was fucking insane, I am insane, I am nothing but an insane little girl who had just- Laughed. And laughed. I threw my head backwards and let the hysterical sobs shock my shoulders. Didn't even take place. Hysterically hilarious. Insanely hilarious.

She slapped me again. Shook my shoulders. I only laughed louder, tears of laughter running down my cheeks, howls of laughter echoed around, and pretty much my entire body trembled because the world was so FUCKING funny.

"Didn't… even… take… place" I managed to spit out between my wails of humour "go… to… HELL!" And I tried to shake her off. While laughing.  
"Stop crying, for fiction's sake!"

I wasn't crying, I was definitely laughing from all the hilarity that had taken over my mind.  
"Cut it out! Sweet William Shakespear, you're out of it! STOP THE CRYING!"

I was most utterly definitely surely not crying, I was laughing. Though at this point, I somewhere realized I should point out how incredibly comical things were. While still gasping from the hysterical laughing fits, I tried to explain.

"You're saying… It didn't t-take place" I sneered.

"Because it didn't! Hell, did you seriously think you had the verbal skills to waver their resolve? That you could dodge an arrow of Ishida? That you could survive for _more_ than two seconds while surrounded by top-notch warriors? That you could actually handle a-"  
Before she could finish, I made a panicked 'nyieuww'-y sound, the first sound my panicked throat could produce to prevent her from completing that sentence. I wasn't ready for that punch line yet.  
"Ergo: it was an illusion, and a plothole-filled one too! Now stop letting it serve its purpose, reclaim your sanity and for all that is holy and written, stop those pathetic waterfalls!"

"What does it matter it was an illusion!"  
She blinked surprised, not seeming to grasp what my point was.  
"I did it! I did it!" I somehow regained breath. "Who cares if they were fake? Who cares if they didn't _really_ attack me! What I did wasn't fake! I did it! I crossed the line! I went past the Moral Event Horizon! I got blood on my hands even if it isn't real! I FUCKING DID IT!"  
And I broke down in another laughing fit. Yoruichi!Thing remained quiet, seemingly pondering my inconveniently obvious truth.

"It's even worse than I feared" she muttered eventually. She squatted down before me and gave me a soul-piercing look. "That is the look of a batshit insane civilian all right. I didn't think of this when I said 'maximum psychological damage', but I should've known." Something along the lines of pity showed up in her feline features. Followed by another far-off, pondering look lasting several seconds before a determined, serious face returned, as if she had made an important decision.  
"I can make a deal with you."

I paused my maniacal laugh. "A deal?"  
"A deal. In fact, I can offer you two deals. You can only choose one." She gave me another penetrating look.  
"First: I can make you forget what just happened. All of it."  
_Well, that's fairly easy. _But I had played way too many videogames to forget that if you didn't have any skills, you had to carefully examine every single option you got.  
"Second: You keep the memories and the rather overblown trauma you obviously developed because of it."  
"I want-"  
"Let me finish. Do you know that skipping dialogue in a videogame makes you miss crucial information? In return for keeping those nasty memories, I can grant you power."

That certainly changed things.

"No power is ever obtained without paying a price. You know, balance and karma and stuff. Even I have rules to obey. The price for this power is to keep those scars with you for the rest of your life. And believe me, time won't heal those scars. You are far too mentally unstable to heal those wounds on your own. Also, power can come with some side-effects, but they are unimportant when compared to the advantages of being able to defend youself."

I said nothing.

"Well?"  
"…I-I don't know."  
"You don't know." She pulled up one eyebrow. "I do not that many people who don't know if they want power or not. And believe me, I have seen even fewer people who needed power more desperately than you."  
"I don't know."  
"Well peppermint, hurry up with knowing! You can't sleep forever, I can only help you this much! You can't just-"  
"WHAT! JUST WHAT CAN'T I? CAN'T I JUST PULL MYSELF TOGETHER? CAN'T I JUST BE A REGULAR HEROINE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE? CAN'T I JUST BE SOMETHING BESIDES A WORTHLESS MONSTER?" The screaming felt too good to stop, even if it was suddenly Aerith again, was looking at me sadly.  
"CAN'T I JUST BE WHATEVER PEOPLE WANT ME TO BE? IS IT THAT HARD TO BE SOMETHING LESS DESPICABLE?"

"You're not despicable." Once again, tears of laughter flowed down my face. I put as much hateful cynicism in my laugh as I could.  
"You're not despicable" I echoed mockingly. "You're a special little snowflake, and aren't we all made of a fucking ray of _fucking_ sunshine today! Who are you trying to fool here? You, of all things, should know better. Don't play it nice with me now. Don't lie like this. It makes me sick." It really did. I felt nauseous. If she had just flat-out said how horrible my deeds had been, I hadn't felt great either, but pretending it didn't happen and didn't matter- it was worse, sickening, like some heinous poison instead of a simple punch to the face.

Aerith no longer looked at me sadly. Her face was hard to read. Not that I've been able to read people's faces well ever, I never have been that kind of people-person, but it was like all the muscles in her face had turned to stone. A mask, even. The lips parted and moved without showing a glimpse of emotion.

"Your time is limited. There isn't much left of it. This will be the only time I will give you this offer."  
There was just too much pressure, and too little time for me to wrap me head around what was happening. It went too fast. I didn't like taking quick decisions- and I hated taking important decisions like these. The pressure was too much, the importance was too much, and I had too much blood on my dress.

"I'm just not ready for this" I mumbled helplessly. I didn't want to decide now. I didn't want to decide, ever.  
"You'll never be fully ready" it said "and I know you're bad with taking responsibility for big decisions, which is why you don't want to make them. I know what you want, but alas, I can't decide for you. You must choose in order to obtain something. Choosing is as essential for an exchange as the payment. Choose. Think. Think what matters more to you: a relatively painless path to certain death, or a relatively _very_ painful path to uncertain survival."

It started to fade. I started to scream. I didn't want it to leave, the only life-form that hadn't treated me like complete crap in the past few days, the only place I didn't get the shit beaten out of me, the only moments I didn't have to fear to my life. _My sanctuary_.  
"Choose" it once again said, more pressingly. "I can no longer help you if you do not choose."

_Don't leave me-  
_"Choose."  
_I don't want to go back there-  
_"Choose, Myrthe."  
_I don't want to die-  
_"I ACCEPT!" I screamed desperately. "I choose the power… thing! HELP ME!"

Suddenly, it stopped vanishing and reappeared in a bright flash, having taken on the form of a richly decorated Venetian-like mask. A bright light that shimmered in a dozen colours like inside a prism fluctuated behind the empty eye sockets. The painted grin extended from cheek to cheek, and when the bright red lips parted, the same prism-like light shot forth as a small, concentrated beam and blinded me as it seemed to aim for my throat.  
A split second, it felt as if someone just touched my throat with a scorching hot iron ball, but before I could scream, the feeling and the rainbow laser were gone. The mask however remained, its almost devilish grin extending ever further.  
_You now have power, the power now has you. The contract has been sealed. Adieu.  
_Then it was gone.

"BITCH! COME BACK! DON'T GO! DON'T LEAVE-"

* * *

White. Again. I felt the white press down on me. If there was a way to feel claustrophobic in a wide, white hall, I had found it. _I might be developing white… phobia. Among the numerous traumas and psychological problems I already have. _

"Well, look at the bloody little lamb, Loly. Isn't she despicable when she's waking up?"  
_FUCK._

Sure, it had sucked when I heard Dr. Fabulous' voice the last time I woke up, but this was worse. This voice meant psychopathic verbal en physical harassment. Panic rushed through my sleepy brain cells, ringing the alarms, screaming in terror, mobilizing the adrenaline unit.

_Keep still. Don't move. Lie down. Pretend you're still asleep. Eyes closed. No movement. Sleeping. Steady breath. Eyes shut. Body motionless-_

Then someone kicked me in the stomach. A sharp pain forced me into instant-fetus position, made me gasp with a ragged, hurt wail.  
"Listen how it bleats" a different voice said even more hateful. According to the footsteps, the darker shade of black inside my closed eyelids and the goosebumps all over my body, someone was now towering over me.  
"It seems more like a dead, rotting fish than a lamb to me, Menoly" the voice continued. "It even smells rotten."

Next thing I knew, someone grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled me upwards, grabbed me by the arm and held me in some sort of locked position. And then proceeded to sniff my hair. I was too terrified to be surprised.  
"The smell of fear… A bit like a rotten guppy" my attacker hissed softly in my ear. At last I regained some of my instincts and began to struggle to get free. To my own amazement, I found myself free immediately. I then found myself on the floor again. This time, I lay on my back, facing the two female silhouettes that towered over me. Grinning with a curious mixture of both psychopathic delight and distaste, they looked a remarkably lot like when they had beat up Inoue.

"Just look at it" Menoly spat. While she seemed more annoyed with my general scared attitude, Loly looked at me with pure hatred.  
"I can't believe that Aizen spends more time with this rotten guppy than with us" she hissed between her teeth. _Crazy jealous bitch alert. Can't blame Aizen for not hanging out with them.  
_"Listen" I squeaked, desperate to find myself a way out of this mess "the only thing he does when he spends time with me is treating me like crap."

The slap she gave me gave told me that that wasn't the right thing to say. She slowly sat down next to me. Her hand suddenly swooped down and grabbed some of the red-white fabric at the front of my dress, and pulled me close to her face.  
"Listen to me very carefully, guppy" she whispered dangerously. When I didn't give any reaction besides even more fear on my face, she grabbed my face with her other hand, her sharp nails digging in my cheeks.  
"ARE YOU LISTENING?" she screamed, her nails digging deeper in my flesh, my ears ringing from the sudden noise after just becoming accustomed to her whispers. I cringed for as far as I could move.

"Yes" I whimpered "I am, I am, I am listening, yes." Her blazing eyes were uncomfortably close.

"Good, because what I am going to say, is very, very important for you to understand. Ok?" Her nails seemed to penetrate my skin when they dug even deeper.

"Any treatment that Lord Aizen gives you" she whispered so softly I could barely understand her words "anything he does to you, is kinder, softer and friendlier than you. Will. Ever. DESERVE!" The last word left me deaf for a few seconds, after which I could hear Psycho Pigtails' voice whisper to me "… and thank him with all your heart for his forgiveness."

She waited, looking at me as if expecting an answer. When I opened my mouth to agree with whatever she was saying, her eyes darkened again and suddenly, the nails no longer dug into my cheeks and I was suddenly freed from her grasps- and I violently hit the floor after she had given me a rough push towards the floor, pain shooting through my spine to my head. I shrieked. _White ceiling. I hate white. _

When I diverted my eyes from the scary ceiling, I saw those two still grinning crazily. I was so scared.

"Look at it" the short-haired lunatic said to the pigtailed psycho, "trembling like a fish out of water." Her companion agreed. "Disgusting." She seemed ready to slit my throat.

"I can't believe that those people are actually coming here for this and the princess." Menoly's face changed from insanely amused to panic. "Loly!" she hissed, apparently upset by her friends remark. My mind went in hyperdrive. _They're coming! _I screamed inside my head, _they're coming for me!_ Meanwhile, Loly seemed to realize what she had said. Not that she showed any concern. He friend did, though.

"We weren't supposed to speak about that" she became more panicked as she tugged at Loly's arm, trying to get the message through "it was the only thing we weren't allowed to do!"

_The only thing not to do? To me? Which means everything else- _at that point most of my relief melted away. I became aware of my current situation again. I was in the presence of two jealous, unstable psychopaths. They had said that they were coming, not that they were here, which meant that at this very moment, there was nobody to save me. Furthermore, they were apparently allowed to do whatever they wanted with to me. And I was unarmed.

_Or am I? _I suddenly remembered the last words of the thing in my head. _I now have power._

_But what can I do? _It hadn't bothered to tell me which weapons I had, or how to get them, for that matter. _If only it had-_

My internal conversation was rudely interrupted when Pigtails suddenly grabbed my hair and pulled me upwards. By the time I was sort of on my feet, I felt how she let go, pushing me in another direction, I felt how two other arms caught me in my backward stumble and locked away my own arms in an iron grip. While I tried to trash myself out, I heard a demented giggle somewhere in front of me. Ignoring my instinct, I looked up and was suddenly far too close to Menoly's face, that smiled even more insane than before. When I tried to look away, terrified by the complete madness that dripped off her features, she reached out and held my face right in front of hers, her nails digging into the same sore spots where she had held my cheeks before.

_Make it go away_ I pleaded desperately, all the hope I had had a moment before gone without a trace, _please make it go away._

"Poor guppy" Menoly said mockingly "did you just hear what I said?" Her nails dug a little deeper and she moved my head up and down, like a nodding puppet. "I just said that your fishy friends are coming this way. Doesn't that make the little guppy happy? I told it just for you." She paused, looking at me expectantly. I remembered the treatment she gave me when I answered last time, so I kept quiet.

The slap she gave me told me that I should have answered instead. "ANSWER WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU A QUESTION, YOU ROTTEN PIECE OF CRAP" she screeched, slapping me again. My face felt like an open wound by now, stinging everywhere. I could feel that I was bleeding where her nails had pierced my skin. "I'm sorry" I squeaked quickly "I'm so sorry!" I closed my eyes for the next hit, but flinched when I felt two fingers trace my cheeks instead. The fingers went up from my jaw line along my cheeks, slowly upwards towards my temples, followed my eyebrows towards the middle of my face, and stroked ever so softly over my closed eyelids. She and her psychopal were both completely quiet, and I could hear how my breathing became superficial and ragged from fear. I kept my eyelids firmly closed. This was somehow far worse than the slapping. It was like the silence before an inevitable storm. The fingers had stopped tracing my lashes. Suddenly, they pulled up one of my eyelids. At first I saw nothing, and then I saw that her face was closer than before, filling me entire sight with her demonic expression. I shrieked. The fingers, that had moved towards my right temple, suddenly twitched, and I screamed again when hair nails suddenly scraped down from my temple to my chin, following the same jaw line she had just caressed. She didn't become angry this time, she just smiled gleefully.

"Poor little guppy" she purred dangerously "you were happy when you heard that your little friends were coming here, weren't you?" Having learnt my lesson, I nodded quickly, multiple times. Her smile broadened, then her face suddenly twisted into a mocking, dramatic sad mask. "Oh, did you get that, Menoly? Guppy is happy that her fishie friends are coming for her!" Behind me, someone chuckled. The drama queen in front of me continued. "Isn't this just tragic! She must be thinking that they are coming here to save her!"  
_What. You're saying they aren't? _Forgetting the fact that she was manipulative and mentally deranged, I panicked again at her words. And she saw that.  
"Oh Menoly, you should see the look on her face!" She dramatically covered her eyes with the back of her hand. "It's just too painful!" She turned towards me again, psychopathic enjoyment overshadowing her fake pity. "Oh, but guppy, didn't our great Aizen tell you before? Your friends are coming here to kill you!"

That set off a rather nasty flashback. Trying to suppress the images of black clothes and silver swords whirling around me, I desperately reminded myself that it had been an illusion. That it had been an illusion, and nothing more, that it had been fake, staged, not real…  
"To kiiiiiiill yoooooou~" she hummed happily in my face. "They aren't happy with what you saaahaaaid… Not happy at aall. As soon as they find you will be his-to-ry." With every vowel, she poked my right cheek.  
_She's lying_ I desperately told myself, _she just screwing with you. They're coming to save me. _But somehow, I didn't believe myself. Somehow, I felt something cringing inside me. Somehow, I was quickly losing my remaining hope for a miraculous rescue_._

"Is the guppy sad now?" She tilted her head like a curious puppy. Her eyes darkened again. "IS SHE SAD NOW?" she yelled angrily, her hand ready for another slap. I nodded feverishly, nodding until she nodded as well. "Yes, she is" she purred. "Look, she's even crying!" She sounded excited. It somehow angered me more than all the other things she had done. If I was crying, she shouldn't see it. Nobody should see it. My tears were only for myself to see, my private weakness. She shouldn't just point them out and laugh at it, it was shameful enough already. I tried to suppress the tears, to blink them away.  
"Aww, but guppy, don't stop it know, your tears make you seem cute! Come on, cry!" If I hadn't wanted to cry before, this made my refusal definite. I blinked even harder.  
She didn't like that. "I SAID CRY, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" Instead of slapping me, she punched me in the stomach. I cried out in pain; I would have cringed if Menoly wasn't still holding me from behind. I could hear Loly laugh, delighted. Then I felt a second punch. I cried out again. I felt a kick, and all air was suddenly gone; instead of the scream that got stuck in my throat, I produced some sort of off-key squeak. My face burned, my stomach hurt like hell; and I could barely process anything else than the pain. Sadly, the mentally deranged cackle that Pigtails produced was so loud that it somehow came through. Menoly's laughter joined in from behind, and the two laughed even harder.

Although still half numbed by pain (or maybe because of it) I suddenly saw my chance to escape. The fun they were having had lowered Menoly's guard, and she didn't hold my arms nearly as tight as a moment before. Wishing myself good luck, I limped a bit more and then started to trash about with all that was left of my strength. It worked; both the lack of attention power she had put in her lock and the surprise when I suddenly moved made her let go of me. I stumbled forwards, ducked sideways to avoid Loly in front of me and dashed away. Half stumbling, half running I went towards the end of the corridor, my heart racing, stress activating every single cell in my body. I could hear an angry shout behind me, I could hear running footsteps, but I just raced forwards, not knowing where I was going, just knowing that I had to _run run RUN, m_y respiration reaching a dangerously fast level, my eyesight blurred from panic and continuingly shifting, my ragged dress fluttering around my legs, my muscles protesting, my stomach still aching, the scrapes on my face throbbing, my whole body tensed and giving its all to _GET AWAY FROM THEM._

And then an undefined shape seemed to teleport in front of me.  
And then I literally ran into someone.  
And it was Loly.  
_FUCK NONONONONONOO-  
_"YOU-LITTLE-SHIT!"

Then things went really fast. One moment I was still retreating from the subject I head-crushed into. Then I felt a cold claw around my throat. Then I felt my head being smashed against a wall along with the rest of my body, a hand still around my throat like an iron chain.

"How DARE you" Loly hissed furiously, pressing me harder against the wall as if she tried to push my head through it. "How DARE you!" She punched me with her free fist. I tasted blood.

"I'm sorry!"

She seemed taken aback by my hasty apology. For a moment, her grip around my throat loosened. It slowly slid a bit downwards and lightly ran across the white ribbon-necklace-thing that was tied around my neck, Aizen's gift. Her face was hard to read, but somehow, I felt even more afraid, knowing from fiction that psychopaths were the most dangerous when they were calm. The slender fingers caressed the silver bell that was attached in the middle. The clear, happy chimes it produced were the only thing, apart from my heavy breathing, that made a sound in the vast, empty hall.  
"Such a pretty thing" she said with a strange voice, her eyes almost seeming hypnotized by the bell that protected my life. Then, ever so slowly, she looked upwards and met my terrified eyes. "Worn by such a MONSTER!"

Then, I no longer stood with my feet of the ground. She held me pinned against the wall, about 8 inches off the ground, as if I weighed nothing. The savage look returned in her eyes. But this was a different kind of savage, even I could tell. Her eyes no longer had that jealous, sadistic, joyful look. This was just pure disgust, contempt, hatred, resentment, as if she looked at some sort of inhuman and hideous abomination of life.

"You're disgusting!" she screeched madly, tightening her grip a bit more. It became harder to breathe; I had to force the air up and down my throat.  
"MONSTER! DISGUSTING MONSTER!" She punched me in the stomach. I would have doubled over if I hadn't been hovering in the air.

_Need- more- air- now-_

I tried to speak. To beg her to let me go. Instead, I produced some pathetic, shallow rattle without any sound to it.

_Need-more-air-_ I still could breath, but I couldn't breathe enough. It was like I had to breathe through an extremely narrow reed; I had to take short gasps to get some oxygen inside, but my lungs screamed for more. Panic was multiplying every second, shooting through my veins, alarming every single cell that I NEEDED OXYGEN. I started to trash uncontrollably, my body fighting as if it had a mind of its own. Loly replied by cutting off a bit more of my air supply; I could hear Menoly scream something at her with a warning undertone. She didn't seem to listen and only dug her nails deeper in my skin. I slowly lost connection with my body; it just fought for its life while I barely felt how it kicked and punched the air. All I felt was that I NEEDED THE AIR. I had never been this scared in my life; no; scared was not the right description, this was something way beyond being afraid. This was a primal fear that took hold of me, a blind, uncontrollable panic that paralyzed my thoughts and kicked adrenaline through the rest. I was just FREAKING OUT in the most basic of ways, because I was on the verge of dying, and my body knew it.

_NEED-AIR-NEED-AIR-NEED-_

She cut off my respiration completely. At that point, I lost it completely, I couldn't scream but I did, inside my mind I screeched, I was in complete state of panicked shock and complete terror was all that I felt, a terror I didn't know that it existed, but-

_AAIR-_

It was the only thing I was thinking off, terror having numbed out every single brain activity besides-

_AIR-_

And suddenly, there was air. Real air. Air that worked its way down my throat arduously. My throat rattled in pain as I forced the precious oxygen into my lungs; my lungs were in ecstasy, but to my air pipe it felt as if I was swallowing humongous needles instead.

For the first few seconds that I was lying on the ground –_when did she drop me?- _all I could think of was that I could breathe; and only when I had finally processed this essential information, I reopened my eyes that I had pressed close when she had been strangling me.

In front of me was a giant rat.

_Brain lacking oxygen be trippin'._

It had the size of a pony. Its fur was of an incredibly ugly shade of dark grey, its tail was a dirty pink. It turned around and I saw its face, which wasn't a usual sight either. A pattern of black-and-grey diamonds went like a superhero mask from one big black eye to another; its ears were unusually big, as were his whiskers and nose. It was an ugly thing, and I wasn't scared of it.  
In fact, it felt like it was a part of me. Still dazed from the near-death experience, I barely questioned this weird feeling that immediately made me trust this ungodly creature that would have scared the shit out of me otherwise.

"_Arlechinno" _it sounded through my head. That was his name. He was Arlechinno, and he was me.

It was as if we shared one mind, as if all the things that I thought were his thoughts too, all his ideas were mine. This weird connection that I didn't bother to question led me to instinctively grabbing his fur and clumsily climbing on his back.

And we ran.

I could hear Loly cry out in surprise and fury; followed by footsteps that told me they were following us. When the sounds of footsteps could no longer be heard and instead I heard several 'whoosh'-y sounds, I realized that Arly (I had immediately dubbed him Arly) could never outrun an Arrancar using her Spanish alternative for Flash Step. I, however, had not anticipated that Arly would suddenly start to run vertically along the white walls. Or along the ceiling.  
Most of all, I really hadn't anticipated that within an adrenaline-pumped minute, the 'whooshes' had stopped, as had the frustrated screams behind me.

_I'm safe._

Right after my obvious conclusion, Arly suddenly stopped, made a physically implausible flip flip in the air and landed safely on the ground. I clumsily climbed off again, thinking how being able to climb down in peace was so much better than being chased by psychopaths while defying gravity for no obvious reason, it was a nice change.

As I stood with both feet on the ground, I finally took a deep sigh- and immediately coughed in pain; my throat was still extremely sore from the iron grip it had been in; I hadn't felt the pain before because I was too busy with freaking out. The cough rattled about as if it deliberately tried to scratch the flesh from inside my air pipe off- I decided to keep my talking to a minimum. I softly reached for the place where Pigtails had cut off my life support, and winced. I couldn't see them, but I knew that there would be some serious bruises around my throat for some time.

I settled down, as did Arly. Though he smelled a bit like sweat and his fur was ruffled and rough, he made a nice giant-rat-sized pillow.

I didn't really plan to go to sleep again; how could I when I was awake for only one hour max and been though extreme amounts of stress? But Arly had already made himself comfortable on the ground, and because he was me, I knew that we wanted to lie down and catch some rest together.  
Yet as soon as I had snuggled myself comfortably against his warm body, he was gone.  
No flashy explosions, no sparkles, no Pokéballs, just there one second and gone in the next. As you can imagine, my reaction was too slow and I fell backwards. As I hit the ground it was as if I was hit by an invisible wave. I wanted to sit up but not a single muscle moved; my body felt extremely heavy, and all my limbs had limped without permission. Even my head could only lie still as if there were no such thing as neck muscles, and an extremely annoying high tone started to beep around in my head. All I could do was gaze upwards.

_Leukos, _I suddenly remembered as I looked at that wretched white ceiling, _leukos means white. _I produced a weak smile when I realized that there were, in fact, things I did know for sure. _Leukos is white.  
__I'm developing Leukophobia. So tire-_

* * *

**F!Myrthe: Y'know, it gets kind of boring if I fall asleep at the end of EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER. Why did you make me faint again?**

**Me: All things that are unclear now will be revealed later on.**

**F!Myrthe: Such as why there is a HUGE GAP between last chapter and this one? Which contains the reason why you made me go batshit insane, which is something I'd really like to know? And what is up with that Rattus Ex Machina at the end?**

**Me: Believe me, much will be revealed next chapter. Nothing like keeping important plot information secret to annoy your scarce readers and to create fake and enforced tension in the story, after all!**

**F!Myrthe: Did I mention you're not a nice person?**

** .**

***~*~*~*~*~*~OPINION WHORE SECTON~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

**So, last chapter I talked about how my story, and especially the beginning, sucked. I'm still working on rewriting some, but it's pretty hard having to rewrite old and boring stuff TT^TT.**

**But now for this chapter's Opinion Whore Topic: There are A LOT of plot holes in this story, I know. But sometimes, things that seem illogical actually do have logic behind them. It's just not always good to explain how some stuff works- it'd take too much time, it would slow down the story, or it would be too complicated for F!Myrthe to understand etc etc.  
So my suggestion is: if there are any headscratches or outright plotholes, please mention them to me. **

**It'd be a win-win-situation: Either you get information you need about something you didn't understand before, or I get information about a plot hole I have to work on. So please, do spam you annoyances about this story!  
If it's about the Rattus Ex Machina Arlechinno: That's going to be explained next chapter. I already have it written, but I decided that if I added that to this chapter, it'd be too long and boring.**


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